The best examples of key examples from 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck'

Everyday examples of key examples from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’

Mark Manson’s book hits so hard because his stories feel like people you actually know. The best examples are not about gurus or billionaires, but about the guy stuck in traffic, the woman doomscrolling on her couch, the friend who keeps chasing the wrong goal.

Think of this as a guided tour through the examples of key examples from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’—translated into modern, 2024‑style life. Same ideas, updated scenery.

The rock star who “fails” and wins: choosing better values

One of the most famous examples in the book is the story of Dave Mustaine, the guitarist kicked out of Metallica just before they became massive. He went on to form Megadeth, sold millions of records, and became a legend in his own right. By any normal measure, he was wildly successful.

But Mustaine measured his life by one value: being bigger than Metallica. By that standard, he was a failure.

This is a standout example of how your metrics can ruin your happiness. You can be rich, admired, and talented—and still feel like a loser if you’ve picked the wrong scoreboard.

Now update that to 2024:

A creator on TikTok has 300,000 followers. They make a living, pay their rent, and have a loyal community. But they compare themselves to MrBeast or Charli D’Amelio and feel like they’re “behind.” Their value is “I must be the biggest,” not “I want to make meaningful work and live comfortably.”

Same pattern as Mustaine. Different platform, same trap.

Manson’s point: you can’t control being the best, but you can control choosing values like honesty, curiosity, or consistency. Those are measurable by your own actions, not by someone else’s career.

The lottery of pain: why problems never disappear

Another of the best examples from the book is Manson’s idea that life is not about avoiding problems; it’s about choosing better ones.

He talks about people who want a relationship without conflict, a career without stress, or success without sacrifice. That fantasy fuels a lot of anxiety and FOMO in 2024: the idea that someone, somewhere, has the “no-problem” life.

But even the dream life comes with trade‑offs:

• Remote work sounds perfect—until you’re lonely, sitting in sweatpants, and your social skills start to rust.
• Moving to a cheaper city feels smart—until you miss your friends, your favorite coffee shop, your community.
• Going viral on social media seems like the jackpot—until you’re dealing with hate comments, trolls, and the pressure to keep topping yourself.

These are real examples of what Manson means by “choose your problems.” You don’t get a life without pain. You just get to pick the pain you’re willing to live with.

Psychology research has long backed this up: people who feel more satisfied in life aren’t the ones with zero problems; they’re the ones who feel their struggles are meaningful and aligned with their values. For more on meaning and well‑being, the NIH offers accessible overviews of mental health and life satisfaction research: https://www.nih.gov/health-information/mental-health.

The feedback loop from hell: anxiety in the age of notifications

Manson describes the “feedback loop from hell”: you feel bad about something, then you feel bad about feeling bad, and then you feel bad about the fact that you’re still feeling bad. It’s emotional Inception.

Here’s a modern, 2024 example of that loop:

You’re anxious about money. You open your banking app. It looks tight. You feel stressed.

Then you see a post about “people your age” buying houses, investing, and retiring early. Now you’re not just stressed—you’re ashamed.

Then you get annoyed at yourself: “Why am I so sensitive? I should be more grateful.” Now you feel guilty about your shame about your anxiety.

That spiral is the feedback loop from hell in real time.

Manson’s counterintuitive advice: it’s okay to feel bad sometimes. The more you fight your emotions or judge yourself for them, the more stuck you get. Accepting that “I feel anxious right now, and that’s allowed” often weakens the loop.

Therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and mindfulness-based approaches echo this. They teach people to notice thoughts and feelings without automatically believing or resisting them. The American Psychological Association has a helpful overview of ACT and related approaches here: https://www.apa.org/.

The “not special” wake‑up call: entitlement in a culture of personal brands

One of the most uncomfortable examples of key examples from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck’ is Manson’s attack on *specialness. He argues that constantly telling everyone they’re extraordinary can backfire. It can create two kinds of entitlement:

• I’m great, so I deserve success without effort.
• I’m uniquely broken, so the rules don’t apply to me.

In 2024, you can see this in the way people talk about their personal brand:

A new entrepreneur posts, “I’m destined to be a millionaire; I just know it.” But they don’t want to learn basic skills, show up consistently, or accept criticism.

Or someone says, “I could never have a healthy relationship, I’m just too damaged,” and uses that story to avoid therapy, boundaries, or difficult conversations.

Both are examples of entitlement dressed up as self-awareness.

Manson’s point isn’t that you’re worthless. It’s that you’re normal. And that’s freeing. If you’re not uniquely brilliant or uniquely broken, you can stop waiting for the universe to treat you differently and start doing the boring, unglamorous work that actually changes things.

Saying no as a love language: relationships and real boundaries

Some of the best examples in the book are about relationships. Manson argues that saying no—and hearing no—is a sign of a healthy connection, not a threat to it.

Picture this:

You’re dating someone new. They want to text all day, every day. You like them, but you also like your job, your friends, and your sanity. You feel guilty even thinking about asking for space.

You say nothing. You keep replying. You grow resentful. You start pulling away in weird, passive ways. They sense it and get clingier. You both spiral.

Now imagine the “subtle art” version. Early on, you say: “I like talking to you, but I’m not a constant-texter. If I don’t reply right away, it’s not that I’m mad—I just need focus time.”

That’s you not giving a f*ck about being the “perfect,” always-available partner and instead caring about honesty and long-term compatibility.

Modern relationship research supports this: clear boundaries and direct communication predict healthier, more satisfying relationships over time. The National Institutes of Health has summaries of communication and relationship health research here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/.

These are real examples of how the book’s ideas show up when your phone is buzzing, your calendar is full, and you’re trying not to ghost anyone.

Failure as progress: the gym, the side hustle, and the messy draft

Another core idea in the book is that action isn’t just the result of motivation; it’s also the cause. You don’t wait to feel inspired—you start, fail, and let motivation catch up.

Manson uses writing as an example: he wrote a lot of bad blog posts before he wrote good ones. The willingness to be bad at something is what makes you good at it.

In 2024, you see this everywhere:

• The person who wants to start a podcast but spends six months researching microphones and never records a single episode.
• The aspiring writer who keeps “building a website” but never actually publishes an article.
• The gym beginner who spends hours comparing workout programs on Reddit but never shows up to lift anything heavier than their phone.

The examples of key examples from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’ here are simple: the person who actually records a shaky first episode, writes a clumsy first draft, or does an awkward first workout ends up miles ahead of the perfectionist who never begins.

Manson would say: stop giving so many fcks about looking stupid. Start giving a few more fcks about showing up.

The limited f*ck budget: attention in a 2024 attention war

One of the strongest examples of key examples from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’ is the idea that you have a limited number of things you can care about. Your time, energy, and attention are finite. Treat them like a budget.

In 2016, when the book came out, that already mattered. In 2024, with TikTok, short‑form everything, constant notifications, and AI‑generated noise, it’s even more intense.

Here’s a modern day-in-the-life example:

You wake up and instantly check your phone. Overnight, you’ve collected news alerts, DMs, work emails, and three group chats arguing about politics, a meme, and weekend plans.

By 9 a.m., you’ve already spent half your emotional budget on things you can’t control:

• A political scandal you can’t influence today.
• A celebrity breakup.
• A stranger’s opinion of your favorite TV show.

By noon, when a real problem appears—a tough email from your boss, a friend who needs support—you’re tapped out. No f*cks left for the stuff that actually matters.

Manson’s argument lines up with a growing body of research on attention and mental health. Constant digital distraction is linked to higher stress and lower well‑being. The CDC offers accessible guidance on managing screen time and protecting mental health: https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/.

The practical takeaway: decide in advance what you’re willing to care about. Your health, your relationships, your craft, your community. And let the rest go by with minimal emotional investment.

Modern real examples: how this book hits in 2024–2025

To pull it all together, here are a few real examples of how people are quietly applying the book’s ideas right now:

• A software engineer in San Francisco stops obsessing over FAANG salaries and starts caring more about work-life balance. They switch to a smaller company, take a slight pay cut, and gain back their evenings and weekends. They gave up the prestige scoreboard and chose a different value: time.

• A college student in Texas unfollows fitness influencers who make them feel inadequate and instead follows a few evidence-based health accounts and registered dietitians. They stop giving a f*ck about six-pack abs and start caring about strength, sleep, and mental health.

• A burned-out nurse in New York starts saying no to extra shifts that aren’t mandatory. They stop trying to be the “hero” who always says yes and start prioritizing rest, therapy, and family time. Their value shifts from “never disappoint anyone” to “sustain myself so I can keep helping people long-term.”

• A new parent in Chicago stops comparing their kid’s milestones to Instagram stories. They give fewer f*cks about curated perfection and more about being present, reading together, and going for walks.

These are modern examples of key examples from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’ playing out in the middle of inflation, social media pressure, and burnout culture.

The book isn’t telling you to stop caring about everything. It’s asking you to care more fiercely about fewer things—and to accept that discomfort, failure, and ordinary-ness are part of a meaningful life.

FAQ: examples, meaning, and how to use this book

What are some of the best examples from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*?

Some of the best examples include Dave Mustaine’s story of “failing” his way into rock legend status, the “feedback loop from hell” that describes anxiety about anxiety, and the idea of a limited “fck budget” for your attention. These examples of key examples from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck’ show how bad metrics, perfectionism, and scattered attention make us miserable.

Can you give an example of how to apply the book at work?

A clear example of applying the book at work is deciding that you care more about doing meaningful, honest work than about impressing everyone. That might mean saying no to a project that clashes with your values, pushing back on unrealistic deadlines, or leaving a toxic job even if it looks impressive on your résumé.

How do these examples relate to mental health?

The book’s message lines up with research showing that values-based living and realistic expectations support better mental health. Choosing what to care about, accepting negative emotions, and focusing on controllable actions all echo evidence-based approaches in psychology. For more, you can explore mental health resources from the National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/.

Are these ideas still relevant in 2024–2025?

Yes—maybe even more so. With constant social media comparison, economic uncertainty, and 24/7 news cycles, our attention is under pressure from every angle. The examples of key examples from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’ feel directly connected to modern issues like burnout, doomscrolling, and influencer culture. The core question—“What is worth caring about?”—has only gotten sharper.

Do I have to agree with everything in the book to use it?

Not at all. You can disagree with Manson’s tone or some of his arguments and still use his real examples as prompts. Ask yourself: Where am I measuring my life with bad metrics? Where am I stuck in a feedback loop from hell? Where am I giving too many f*cks to things I don’t actually value?

If those questions land, the book is already working for you.