The best examples of self-compassion practices: 3 practical examples you can actually use

Let’s start with one of the best examples of self-compassion practices: changing the way you talk to yourself in the exact moment you’re struggling.

Most of us have an inner critic that sounds like a mean sports commentator: “You blew it again.” “Of course you messed that up.” “Everyone can tell you’re faking it.”

Self-compassion doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means responding to your pain the way a decent, grounded friend would.

Psychologist Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, describes it as treating yourself with kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness instead of harsh judgment (self-compassion.org). This isn’t just feel-good fluff; research has linked self-compassion to lower anxiety and depression and better emotional resilience (NIH).

So how do you turn that into a real, concrete example of self-compassion practice?

Real example: The “friend test” after a bad day at work

Imagine this: you made a mistake at work, your boss looked disappointed, and now you’re spiraling.

Your default inner script might be:

“I’m such an idiot. Why do I always screw things up? They’re going to realize I’m not good enough.”

Now run the friend test:

If your closest friend came to you with the exact same situation, would you say those words to them? Probably not.

Instead, you might say something like:

“You had a rough day, but one mistake doesn’t erase all the good work you’ve done. It makes sense that you feel embarrassed. What’s one thing you can learn from this and then let the rest go?”

Turning this into one of your own examples of self-compassion practices: 3 practical examples could look like this mini-script:

1. Name what happened: “I made a mistake in that meeting.”
2. Name how you feel: “I feel embarrassed and tense.”
3. Switch to friend voice: “If my friend did this, I’d tell them: ‘You’re still competent. Everyone messes up. You can fix this.’”
4. Say that out loud or in your head—to yourself.

This is self-compassion in motion: not pretending you’re perfect, but refusing to bully yourself.

More small, everyday examples of self-compassionate self-talk

Here are a few real examples of phrases you can borrow when you notice your inner critic taking over:

• After overreacting in a conversation:
  “I didn’t handle that the way I wanted to. I’m human, and I can apologize and do better next time.”

• When you’re behind on your to-do list:
  “I’m overwhelmed, not lazy. I’m doing the best I can with the energy I have today.”

• When you’re anxious about social situations:
  “It makes sense that I feel nervous. A lot of people would. I can take this one step at a time.”

• When you see old patterns showing up again:
  “This pattern is hard to change. The fact that I notice it means I’m already growing.”

These are some of the best examples of self-compassion practices because they’re fast, private, and available anywhere—no candles, crystals, or perfect conditions required.

Example of self-compassion practice #2: Building a “soft landing” routine for hard days

Another powerful example of self-compassion practice is designing what I like to call a soft landing routine—a simple, repeatable way you take care of yourself when life punches you in the gut.

Think of it as your personal “emotional first-aid kit.” You don’t wait until you’re bleeding to Google what a bandage is. You prepare ahead of time.

This is one of the most practical examples of self-compassion practices: 3 practical examples because it turns vague advice like “be gentle with yourself” into specific actions: what you do, what you don’t do, and how you talk to yourself when you’re hurting.

Real example: A 20-minute soft landing after a draining day

Let’s say you’ve had a long, emotionally exhausting day. Normally, you might:

• Scroll endlessly on your phone
• Snack past the point of being full
• Beat yourself up for not “handling things better”

A self-compassionate soft landing routine might look like this instead:

Step 1: Acknowledge the hit (2 minutes)
You pause at the door or in your car and say, quietly:

“Today was really hard. I’m wiped out. It makes sense I feel this way.”

This is mindfulness plus kindness—noticing what’s happening without shaming yourself for it.

Step 2: Do one body-based reset (5–10 minutes)
Research from places like Harvard Medical School has shown that practices like slow breathing and light movement can help calm the stress response (Harvard Health).

You might choose:

• A short walk around the block
• A 5-minute stretching routine
• Three slow, deep breaths with one hand on your chest and one on your belly

The self-compassion twist: instead of thinking, “I have to do this to fix myself,” you think, “I’m doing this because I deserve a softer landing.”

Step 3: One small comfort that doesn’t wreck tomorrow (5–10 minutes)
This is where most of us go straight to numbing: alcohol, bingeing, or staying up way too late. Self-compassion doesn’t mean you never comfort yourself—it means you choose comforts that are kind to future you as well.

Examples include:

• Making a cup of tea and sitting quietly for a few minutes
• Taking a warm shower to literally wash the day off
• Listening to a calming playlist
• Journaling three sentences about how you feel

You’re telling yourself: “I’m allowed to be tired. I’m allowed to need care. I don’t have to earn rest by being perfect.”

More real-world examples of soft landing routines

Here are more real examples of how people build this kind of self-compassion practice into daily life:

• After a breakup: turning off social media for the evening, texting one trusted friend, watching a comforting show, and going to bed at a reasonable time instead of stalking your ex’s accounts.
• After a parenting meltdown: stepping into another room, taking five slow breaths, reminding yourself, “I’m a good parent having a hard moment,” then apologizing calmly instead of drowning in shame.
• After a tough therapy session: scheduling 30 minutes of low-stimulation time (no big decisions, no heavy conversations) so your nervous system can settle.

These soft landing routines are underrated examples of self-compassion practices because they acknowledge reality: you will have hard days. Self-compassion says, “When those days come, I’m not going to abandon myself.”

Example of self-compassion practice #3: Redefining “failure” as data, not a verdict

The third of our examples of self-compassion practices: 3 practical examples is about how you treat yourself when something doesn’t go the way you hoped.

In a culture obsessed with productivity and perfection, it’s easy to treat every missed goal like a moral failure: “I didn’t stick to my workout plan. I’m weak.” “My business idea flopped. I’m not cut out for this.”

Self-compassion offers a different approach: failure as feedback, not a final judgment.

Research from places like Stanford and the University of Texas has shown that people who practice self-compassion are more likely to take responsibility, try again, and make changes—not less (NIH). Being kind to yourself doesn’t make you lazy; it makes you more resilient.

Real example: The “kind debrief” after a missed goal

Imagine you set a goal to exercise three times a week, and then… you don’t. Old pattern: you ghost the goal and stew in quiet shame.

A self-compassionate “kind debrief” might sound like this:

1. Acknowledge the facts without drama:
   “I planned to work out three times this week. I did it once.”
2. Name the self-critic, but don’t let it drive:
   “Part of me wants to say, ‘You’re so undisciplined.’ That voice is loud, but it’s not the whole story.”
3. Ask a curious question instead of a cruel one:
   Not: “What’s wrong with me?”
   But: “What got in the way?”
4. Adjust the plan with kindness:
   “I was exhausted after work. Maybe I need shorter workouts or morning walks instead.”

This is a concrete example of self-compassion practice in action: you’re honest about what happened, but you refuse to attack your worth.

More everyday examples of self-compassion with failure

Here are more real examples of how this can show up:

• After an exam score is lower than you hoped:
  “I’m disappointed, and that’s valid. This score reflects my performance on one test, not my entire intelligence or future.” Then you might schedule a meeting with your teacher instead of withdrawing.

• After a relationship ends:
  “This hurts deeply. It doesn’t mean I’m unlovable. It means this relationship wasn’t right for me or for them.” You let yourself grieve without turning it into a story about your total worth.

• After a presentation goes awkwardly:
  “That was rough, and I felt flustered. I can practice more next time and maybe get feedback. This doesn’t cancel out my strengths.”

• After breaking a streak (meditation, sobriety, journaling, etc.):
  “I slipped. That’s part of change. I can restart today instead of throwing the whole thing away.”

These are some of the best examples of self-compassion practices because they directly challenge the all-or-nothing mindset that keeps so many of us stuck.

Bonus: Smaller examples of self-compassion you can sprinkle into your day

To round out our examples of self-compassion practices: 3 practical examples, let’s add a few smaller, almost deceptively simple habits that still count as real self-compassion.

None of these will trend on social media, but they quietly reshape how you relate to yourself:

• Respecting your basic needs: Eating regular meals instead of “forgetting to eat” until you’re shaky. Going to bed 30 minutes earlier because you’re tired, not because you “earned” rest.
• Setting one tiny boundary: Saying, “I can’t stay late tonight,” or “I need to think about that before I say yes.”
• Pausing before self-comparison: When you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel, you tell yourself, “I’m seeing their chapter 20 and comparing it to my chapter 3.”
• Letting yourself be a beginner: Trying a new hobby and allowing it to be messy without deciding you “suck at everything.”
• Taking mental health seriously: Reaching out to a therapist, primary care doctor, or counselor when your anxiety, stress, or low mood is impacting daily life. Organizations like the National Institute of Mental Health offer guidance on getting help.

These might seem small, but self-compassion is built out of moments like these—the dozens of times a day you choose not to abandon yourself.

FAQ: Real-world examples of self-compassion practices

What are some simple examples of self-compassion practices I can start today?

Some of the simplest examples of self-compassion practices include: speaking to yourself like a friend when you mess up, building a short wind-down routine after stressful days, taking three slow breaths before reacting when you’re triggered, and going to bed when you’re tired instead of pushing through out of guilt.

You can also try writing a short note to yourself as if you were writing to a loved one who’s going through what you’re facing. This is a powerful example of self-compassion practice that research-backed programs often use in mindfulness and therapy settings.

Is self-compassion just letting myself off the hook?

No. Studies have found that self-compassion is actually linked to greater motivation and accountability, not less. When you’re not busy attacking yourself, you have more energy to learn from mistakes and try again. You can read more about this in research summaries from the National Institutes of Health.

A helpful way to think of it: self-compassion is like a good coach—honest, but not cruel.

Can self-compassion help with stress and anxiety?

Yes. Mindfulness-based and self-compassion–based practices have been associated with reduced stress and anxiety symptoms in multiple studies. While they’re not a replacement for professional care when needed, they can be a valuable part of your coping toolkit.

If stress or anxiety is affecting your daily functioning, it’s wise to talk with a healthcare professional. Resources from organizations like Mayo Clinic and NIMH offer guidance on when to seek help.

How can I remember to use these examples of self-compassion practices when I’m overwhelmed?

Two simple tricks:

• Create prompts in your environment: Put a sticky note on your mirror or laptop that says, “Talk to yourself like a friend,” or “Soft landing, not self-punishment.”
• Attach self-compassion to existing habits: For example, every time you brush your teeth, you name one thing you’re proud of from the day. Every time you sit down at your desk, you take one slow breath and say, “I’m doing the best I can today.”

The goal isn’t to remember every example of self-compassion practice perfectly. It’s to remember even one more often than you used to.

Bringing it all together

If “be kinder to yourself” has always sounded vague or impossible, I hope these examples of self-compassion practices: 3 practical examples make it feel a little more real.

You’ve seen how self-compassion can look like:

• Shifting your inner voice from bully to ally
• Creating a soft landing routine for hard days
• Treating failure as data instead of a life sentence

Plus, you’ve got several smaller, everyday examples to experiment with.

You don’t have to transform your entire life overnight. Pick one example of self-compassion practice from this guide and test it for a week. Notice how you feel. Adjust. Try another.

Self-compassion is not about becoming someone different. It’s about finally offering to yourself the basic kindness you’ve probably been giving everyone else for years.