Rolling with resistance is a key concept in motivational interviewing, a counseling approach that helps individuals find their own motivation to change. Instead of confronting resistance head-on, this technique encourages coaches to adapt and work with the individual’s concerns, ultimately leading to more effective outcomes. Below are three diverse, practical examples of rolling with resistance strategies that you can apply in personal development and life coaching.
In a life coaching session, you have a client who is hesitant about committing to a new exercise routine. They express doubts about their ability to stick with it and mention past failures. Here’s how you can roll with that resistance.
Begin by acknowledging your client’s feelings. Say something like, “It sounds like you’ve had some tough experiences with exercise in the past, and it’s understandable to feel hesitant.” Then, instead of pushing them to commit, ask open-ended questions that invite reflection. For example, “What do you think has made it difficult for you to stick to an exercise routine before?” This allows the client to explore their concerns without feeling pressured.
As they share their thoughts, gently guide them to consider small, manageable steps that could work for them. You might suggest, “What if we started with just 10 minutes of walking a couple of times a week? How would that feel for you?” By emphasizing gradual changes, you acknowledge their resistance and help reduce their anxiety about the commitment.
Note: Variations of this strategy can include discussing the benefits of movement in a non-judgmental way or inviting the client to set future goals that feel more achievable.
Imagine you are coaching an employee who feels overwhelmed by their workload and is resistant to discussing time management strategies. They might express frustration, saying, “I don’t have time to even think about managing my time!” Here’s how to approach this situation.
Start by validating their feelings of overwhelm. You could say, “It sounds like you’re really feeling the pressure right now, and that can make it hard to think about anything else.” This helps in building rapport and showing empathy.
Instead of suggesting immediate solutions, ask them to reflect on their current tasks. For example, you might ask, “What are the three biggest tasks on your plate right now?” Encourage them to talk about each task without rushing to fix the problem.
Once they’ve identified their main concerns, guide them to brainstorm potential priorities. For instance, say, “If you had to pick one task to focus on first, which one would it be?” This strategy allows them to feel in control and reduces resistance by empowering them to make decisions based on their insights.
Note: Variations can include using visual aids like a priority matrix to help them organize their thoughts.
In a coaching session with a college student who is skeptical about the benefits of mindfulness practices, you notice they are dismissive and resistant to trying new techniques. They might say, “I don’t believe that meditation actually helps!” Here’s how you can roll with that resistance.
Begin by acknowledging their skepticism with a statement like, “It makes sense to be unsure about something that seems different from your usual routine.” This validation can help lower their defenses.
Instead of insisting that they should try meditation, you can share a personal anecdote or a relatable story about how someone else found mindfulness beneficial, stating, “I’ve heard from others that just a few minutes of focused breathing can sometimes help clear the mind. What are your thoughts on that?” This approach opens up a dialogue and encourages them to express their views.
You could also suggest a very brief, low-pressure experience with mindfulness, such as, “How about we try a one-minute breathing exercise together right now? If you don’t like it, we can stop immediately!” This allows them to experience it without feeling obligated, helping to reduce resistance.
Note: Variations may include discussing different forms of mindfulness, such as mindful walking or journaling, to find what resonates best with the student.
By employing rolling with resistance strategies in these examples, you can create a more supportive environment that encourages individuals to explore their motivations for change, ultimately fostering personal development and growth.