Real-world examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching

Everyday examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching

Let’s skip the theory for a moment and go straight to what you’d actually say in a session. These examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching show how you can respond without arguing, rescuing, or giving up.

Example of rolling with resistance: “I don’t have time for this”

Client: “Look, I just don’t have time for all this self-improvement stuff.”
Coach (rolling with resistance): “Time is already stretched thin, and adding one more thing feels like too much.”

The coach doesn’t argue, “Everyone has time if they care enough.” Instead, they reflect the resistance. This often softens the client.

Client (often): “Yeah, exactly. I’m working full-time, I’ve got kids… it’s a lot.”
Coach: “You’re carrying a heavy load. Part of you might want change, but another part protects your energy and says, ‘Don’t add anything else.’”

Here, the coach is rolling with resistance by:

• Naming the client’s internal conflict instead of pushing for change.
• Validating the protective role of the resistance.

From there, you might gently ask:
“Would it be okay if we explore what smallest possible step might fit into the life you already have, rather than adding something huge?”

This is one of the best examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching because it shows how you can respect the barrier and still invite movement.

Example of rolling with resistance: “Therapy didn’t work, so this won’t either”

Client: “I did therapy for years. Nothing changed. This coaching thing won’t help either.”
Coach: “You’ve already invested a lot of effort, and it was disappointing not to get the change you hoped for.”

No debate. No defending coaching. Just acknowledgment.

Client: “Exactly. I’m tired of talking about my problems.”
Coach: “You’re tired of talking about things and not seeing enough action. You don’t want to repeat that pattern.”

Then, a gentle collaborative move:
“Given that, what would make this feel different enough that it’s worth your time?”

This example of rolling with resistance shows three key moves:

• Reflecting the emotion under the resistance (disappointment, frustration).
• Aligning with the client’s desire for something different.
• Inviting the client to co-design the process.

Example of rolling with resistance: “My partner is the real problem”

Client: “I’m fine. My partner is the one who needs help.”
Coach: “From your view, you’re mostly doing your part, and your partner’s behavior makes life harder.”

Instead of saying, “But you’re here, so let’s focus on you,” the coach first joins the client’s perspective.

Client: “Exactly. If they would just change, things would be better.”
Coach: “So if your partner changed, your life would improve a lot. At the same time, you’re the one in the room with me today. Would you be open to exploring what you want your life to look like, regardless of what your partner does?”

Here, rolling with resistance means:

• Not shaming the client for externalizing blame.
• Acknowledging their logic (if the partner changes, things change).
• Gently shifting focus back to the client’s sphere of control.

This is one of the clearest examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching where you turn a deflecting comment into a doorway for personal agency.

Example of rolling with resistance: “I’m just lazy”

Client: “I know what I should do. I’m just lazy.”
Coach: “Part of you sees a gap between what you ‘should’ do and what actually happens, and it labels that as laziness.”

The coach does not argue, “You’re not lazy.” Instead, they reflect the client’s self-judgment without endorsing it.

Client: “Yeah, I always procrastinate.”
Coach: “Procrastination shows up a lot. I’m curious—if we looked at your ‘laziness’ as a signal instead of a flaw, what might it be trying to tell us?”

This is rolling with resistance by:

• Accepting the client’s language and then gently reframing it.
• Turning a self-attack into a starting point for curiosity.

Research from motivational interviewing in health behavior change shows that reducing shame and self-criticism tends to increase readiness for change and follow-through. For example, the National Institute on Drug Abuse discusses how motivational interviewing supports change by lowering defensiveness and increasing self-efficacy.

Example of rolling with resistance: “I’m only here because my boss made me”

Client: “I’m only doing this because my boss said I had to.”
Coach: “So this wasn’t your idea, and that makes it harder to feel invested.”

The coach doesn’t try to sell coaching. They honor the lack of ownership.

Client: “Exactly. I’m just trying to keep my job.”
Coach: “Keeping your job matters. Even if you didn’t choose to be here, you clearly care enough about your position to show up. Would it be okay if we focus on whatever you want to get out of this time, even if it’s just surviving this situation with less stress?”

This example of rolling with resistance respects the client’s reality:

• They feel coerced.
• They still have values (job security, stability).
• You can build from those values instead of arguing about motivation.

Motivational interviewing research in workplace and health settings shows that honoring autonomy—even when people feel pressured—improves engagement. You can see this autonomy-supportive stance echoed in work from SAMHSA, which emphasizes collaboration and respect in change conversations.

Example of rolling with resistance: “I’ve tried everything”

Client: “I’ve tried everything. Nothing works.”
Coach: “You’ve put in a lot of effort already, and it’s discouraging to feel like you’re back at the same place.”

Instead of saying, “You haven’t tried everything,” the coach validates the exhaustion.

Client: “Exactly. I’m tired of failing.”
Coach: “Failure feels heavy. Given how much you’ve already tried, it makes sense you’re wary of trying again. Would it be okay if we look at what you’ve tried as data, not failures, and see what those attempts might be teaching us?”

Here, rolling with resistance means:

• Accepting the client’s sense of defeat.
• Reframing past attempts as experiments, not proof of hopelessness.
• Inviting a more scientific, less shame-based mindset.

This kind of reframing aligns with research on growth mindset and self-compassion, which has been supported by institutions like Harvard’s Center for Wellness and Health Promotion that highlight how self-compassionate approaches improve resilience and change.

Core principles behind these examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching

Once you’ve seen these real examples, it’s easier to recognize the patterns underneath them. Most effective examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching share a few recurring moves.

You reflect instead of react

When clients push back, coaches often feel an urge to:

• Explain more
• Convince harder
• Correct the client’s thinking

Rolling with resistance flips that instinct. You reflect what you hear, sometimes a layer deeper, and let the client hear their own words back.

For instance, when a client says, “This won’t work,” you might say:

• “Part of you doubts this will make a real difference.”
• “You’ve tried things before that didn’t help, so it’s hard to trust this will be any different.”

That reflection often lowers the emotional temperature, which is exactly what motivational interviewing aims for. The Miller & Rollnick motivational interviewing approach (summarized in many academic and clinical resources) consistently emphasizes reflective listening as a central method.

You join the energy instead of pushing against it

Think of resistance like a strong current in a river. If you push straight against it, you get exhausted and usually go nowhere. If you angle your boat and move with the current, you can still steer.

In practice, that looks like:

• Agreeing with a part of what the client says.
• Validating the logic behind their hesitation.
• Acknowledging the benefits of staying the same.

For example:

Client: “Honestly, eating better is just too hard right now.”
Coach: “There’s comfort and convenience in the way you’re eating now, and changing that would take energy you don’t feel you have.”

You’re not pushing back. You’re saying, “I see why staying the same makes sense.” That paradoxically makes it easier for clients to start talking about why they might want to change.

You honor ambivalence instead of demanding commitment

Most people are not purely “resistant.” They’re ambivalent. Part of them wants change; part of them wants things to stay familiar.

Examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching often sound like:

• “On one hand…, and on the other hand…”
• “A part of you really wants X, and another part is scared of what that would mean.”

This dual-sided reflection helps clients feel understood and often nudges them to voice their own reasons for change—what motivational interviewing calls change talk.

How to build your own examples of rolling with resistance in sessions

You don’t need to memorize scripts. Instead, it helps to practice a few flexible patterns you can adapt on the fly.

Start with a simple reflection

When you hear resistance, pause. Reflect back either:

• The content: what they said.
• The emotion: how they seem to feel.
• The meaning: what it seems to represent.

Client: “I’m not ready to quit drinking.”
Content reflection: “You’re not ready to make that change right now.”
Emotion reflection: “Even thinking about quitting feels overwhelming.”
Meaning reflection: “Alcohol is doing something important for you, and the idea of losing that is scary.”

Each of these is a valid example of rolling with resistance. You’re not arguing. You’re saying, “I hear you.”

Then gently explore, with permission

Once the client feels heard, you can ask permission to explore.

• “Would it be okay if we talk about what being ready might look like for you?”
• “Are you open to looking at what alcohol gives you—and what it might be taking away?”

That small phrase—“would it be okay if…”—is one of the best examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching because it reinforces autonomy. You’re not dragging them; you’re inviting them.

Use scaling and curiosity instead of pressure

When a client is resistant, pressure often backfires. Curiosity opens things up.

Client: “I’m at like a 2 out of 10 on wanting to change.”
Coach: “A 2. Not zero. What makes it a 2 instead of a 0?”

That question is classic motivational interviewing: it invites the client to generate their own reasons for change, without you preaching.

2024–2025 trends: Why rolling with resistance matters even more now

In the last few years, several trends have made these strategies even more relevant in life coaching:

1. Rising burnout and “change fatigue”

Post-2020, many clients report feeling exhausted by constant change—pandemics, economic shifts, remote work, AI disruption. By 2024, surveys across workplaces and mental health services continue to highlight burnout and decision fatigue.

When people are burned out, they often show up as “resistant,” but what they really are is overwhelmed. Examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching that validate exhaustion (“You’re tired of being told to optimize everything”) create safety instead of adding pressure.

2. More coaching in corporate and hybrid workplaces

As organizations invest in coaching for performance, leadership, and well-being, more clients arrive who did not personally seek coaching. They were referred or required to attend.

That means you’ll hear a lot of:

• “I’m only here because my boss said so.”
• “I don’t have time for this with my workload.”

Rolling with resistance is not optional in these settings; it’s how you build any kind of working alliance. Aligning with their reality (“You’re under intense pressure, and this can feel like just another demand”) builds trust.

3. Greater awareness of trauma and nervous system responses

By 2024–2025, more coaches are learning about trauma-informed practice and nervous system regulation. What used to be labeled as “resistance” is now often understood as:

• Fight (arguing, debating)
• Flight (changing the subject, skipping sessions)
• Freeze (shutting down, “I don’t know”)

Rolling with resistance fits beautifully with trauma-informed coaching because it avoids confrontation and respects the client’s protective strategies. You’re not forcing disclosure or change; you’re inviting it at the client’s pace.

Resources like the SAMHSA trauma-informed care framework emphasize safety, choice, collaboration, and empowerment—values that line up strongly with motivational interviewing.

FAQ: examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching

Q: What are some quick examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching I can use tomorrow?
A: Try these simple responses:

• “It makes sense you feel that way, given what you’ve been through.”
• “Part of you wants change, and another part is scared of what that might mean.”
• “You’re not sure this is worth the effort right now.”
  Each one acknowledges the client’s stance without arguing and opens space for them to say more.

Q: Can you give an example of rolling with resistance when a client keeps canceling sessions?
A: You might say, “I’ve noticed it’s been hard to make it to sessions lately. A part of you may want support, and another part might feel pulled in other directions or unsure about this process. Would it be okay to talk about that?” You’re naming the pattern without shaming, then inviting exploration.

Q: How do I avoid sounding fake or scripted when I use these strategies?
A: Use the examples as training wheels, not word-for-word scripts. Focus on the stance: curiosity, respect, and collaboration. Speak in your own natural language. If you genuinely aim to understand the client’s world, your reflections will feel authentic.

Q: Are these examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching only for motivational interviewing sessions?
A: No. While they come from motivational interviewing, the mindset works across coaching styles—career coaching, health coaching, executive coaching, and more. Any time you meet pushback, you can choose to roll with it instead of fighting it.

Q: How do I know if I’m rolling with resistance or just avoiding hard topics?
A: Rolling with resistance doesn’t mean tiptoeing forever. You still explore hard topics—you just do it with the client, not at them. If you’re reflecting, asking permission, and the client is gradually opening up or offering their own reasons for change, you’re on track. If you’re changing the subject to avoid discomfort, that’s different.

When you zoom out, all the best examples of rolling with resistance strategies in life coaching share one message: “I’m on your side, even when you’re unsure, scared, or pushing back.” From that place, real change becomes far more likely—and far less forced.