Real‑life examples of principles of motivational interviewing (MI)

If you’re trying to actually use motivational interviewing in coaching or personal development, you don’t just want theory—you want real, concrete examples of principles of motivational interviewing in action. That’s what we’ll walk through here: not abstract definitions, but everyday conversations that show how these principles sound in real life. These examples of how MI works can help you build confidence, whether you’re a life coach, health coach, therapist, or simply someone who wants to have more supportive, change-focused conversations. In the sections that follow, you’ll see examples of how to express empathy, roll with resistance, support self‑efficacy, and more—using natural language you can actually imagine saying. We’ll look at the best examples drawn from health behavior change, career decisions, and personal growth, plus some updated 2024–2025 trends in how MI is being used in coaching and digital health. By the end, you’ll have a clear sense of what “good MI” sounds like, and you’ll be able to create your own examples of these principles in your daily conversations.
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Taylor
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Why examples of principles of motivational interviewing matter

Motivational interviewing (MI) is everywhere now—healthcare, wellness apps, coaching, even workplace performance conversations. But reading a definition on paper and actually using MI with a real human who’s scared, stuck, or defensive are two very different things.

That’s why walking through examples of principles of motivational interviewing is so helpful. When you see and hear the language, you can:

  • Notice how non‑judgmental it sounds
  • Hear how the coach or helper invites (rather than pushes) change
  • Feel how the other person stays in the driver’s seat

Researchers and organizations like the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) and SAMHSA report that MI‑style conversations can improve engagement and support behavior change in areas like substance use, chronic disease management, and lifestyle habits.

  • NIDA overview of MI in addiction treatment: https://nida.nih.gov/publications/motivational-interviewing
  • SAMHSA MI resources: https://store.samhsa.gov/product/motivational-interviewing

Let’s walk through clear, grounded examples you can adapt immediately.


Everyday examples of principles of motivational interviewing in action

Instead of starting with theory, let’s go straight to what you might actually say. Then we’ll unpack which MI principle is being used.

1. Expressing empathy: joining their world, not fixing it

Context: A client wants to start exercising but keeps skipping the gym.

Non‑MI approach:
“Honestly, you just need to prioritize your health. If you really cared, you’d make time.”

You can feel the judgment in that. Now compare it with an MI‑consistent response.

MI‑style example of expressing empathy:

“You really do want to be more active, and at the same time you’re exhausted after work and it feels almost impossible to get yourself to the gym. That sounds draining.”

What’s happening here:

  • The coach reflects the client’s ambivalence (wants to exercise and feels exhausted).
  • No advice yet. No fixing. Just accurate, kind understanding.

This is one of the best examples of principles of motivational interviewing because it shows how empathy isn’t a warm‑up; it is the work. The client feels heard, which makes it safer to explore change.

2. Developing discrepancy: gently highlighting the gap

Context: A client says they want to be a more present parent but is constantly working late.

MI‑style example of developing discrepancy:

Client: “My kids are the most important thing in my life.”
Coach: “Your kids matter to you more than anything. And at the same time, you’re often at the office until 8 p.m. most nights. How does that fit with the kind of parent you want to be?”

This example of the discrepancy principle does a few subtle things:

  • It honors the value: being a present parent.
  • It names the behavior: working late most nights.
  • It invites the client to notice the mismatch without shaming them.

Motivational interviewing research from sources like the National Library of Medicine notes that exploring this kind of value‑behavior gap can increase internal motivation for change, because the desire comes from the person’s own values, not from external pressure.

(See: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4117265/)

3. Rolling with resistance: no arguing, no power struggle

Context: A client pushed by their partner to reduce drinking says:

“Look, I don’t have a drinking problem. Everyone I know drinks like this.”

A confrontational response might be:

“You’re in denial. Your partner is worried for a reason.”

That usually backfires. MI offers a different path.

MI‑style example of rolling with resistance:

“From your point of view, your drinking feels normal and similar to the people around you. You’re not convinced it’s a problem.”

Then the coach might add:

“Would it be okay if we looked together at what you like about drinking and what you’re less happy with, just to see if there’s anything you might want to tweak?”

Here’s why this is one of the clearest examples of principles of motivational interviewing:

  • The resistance isn’t fought; it’s reflected.
  • The coach asks permission before exploring further.
  • The client remains in charge of deciding whether there’s a problem.

4. Supporting self‑efficacy: “You can do this” (without cheerleading)

Context: A client has tried to lose weight many times and says:

“I always fail. I just don’t have the willpower.”

A generic pep talk might sound like:

“You just need to believe in yourself! You can do it!”

That can feel hollow. MI focuses on real evidence of ability.

MI‑style example of supporting self‑efficacy:

“You’ve had some really frustrating experiences with diets, and that’s left you feeling like you always fail. At the same time, I’m hearing that you followed your plan pretty consistently for three weeks last spring. What did you do then that helped you stick with it for that long?”

Follow‑ups might include:

“That tells me you can follow through when the plan fits your life. How might we build on what worked last time instead of starting from scratch?”

Examples of this principle show that self‑efficacy isn’t about hype; it’s about helping people see their own track record of strengths.

5. Eliciting change talk: inviting them to argue for change

One of the best examples of principles of motivational interviewing is how it flips the usual pattern. Instead of the coach arguing for change while the client argues against it, MI gets the client to voice reasons to change.

Context: A client is unsure about leaving a stressful job.

MI‑style example of eliciting change talk:

“On one hand, your current job pays well and you know what to expect. On the other hand, you’ve mentioned feeling burned out and anxious on Sunday nights. What are some things that worry you if nothing changes over the next year?”

When the client answers, they’re literally hearing themselves articulate the costs of staying stuck. The coach can then reflect and deepen that change talk:

“So a big fear is that your health and relationships could keep getting worse if everything stays the same. That sounds important.”

These real examples of eliciting change talk show how MI increases motivation from the inside out, rather than pushing from the outside.


More real examples of principles of motivational interviewing by life area

To make this practical, let’s walk through more specific, everyday situations where you might use these principles. These are the kinds of real examples many coaches and helping professionals are using in 2024–2025 across health, career, and wellbeing.

Health behavior change: smoking, sleep, and movement

Example: Cutting down on smoking

Client: “I know smoking isn’t great, but it’s my only way to relax. I’m not ready to quit.”
Coach: “Part of you knows it’s not great for your health, and another part feels like it’s your main stress relief. That’s a tough spot.” (empathy)
Coach: “If you ever did decide to change anything about your smoking, even a small thing, what might that look like?” (eliciting change talk, supporting autonomy)

Example: Improving sleep habits

Client: “I scroll on my phone in bed until 1 a.m. I hate it, but I also love that quiet time.”
Coach: “That late‑night scrolling is both a comfort and a problem—you enjoy the quiet, and you’re tired of feeling exhausted the next day.” (developing discrepancy)
Coach: “On a scale from 0 to 10, how ready are you to experiment with your bedtime routine?” (evoking readiness)
Client: “Maybe a 4.”
Coach: “Why a 4 and not a 1?” (eliciting change talk)

That last question is a classic example of principles of motivational interviewing: it invites the client to list their own reasons they might be ready, even a little.

Career and productivity: procrastination and burnout

Example: Chronic procrastination

Client: “I always leave projects until the last minute. It’s just who I am.”
Coach: “You’ve noticed a pattern of waiting until the deadline, and it feels like that’s just part of your identity.” (empathy)
Coach: “Tell me about a time you didn’t leave something to the last minute. What was different then?” (supporting self‑efficacy)
Client: “Well, last quarter I started that big project early because I was excited about it.”
Coach: “So when the work feels meaningful or exciting, you’ve shown you can start early. How might we bring a bit of that feeling into your current tasks?” (developing discrepancy and planning)

Example: Burnout in a high‑pressure job

Client: “Everyone at my level works 60+ hours. If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.”
Coach: “You’re in a culture where long hours feel normal and even expected. And at the same time, you’ve mentioned feeling exhausted and worried about your health.” (developing discrepancy)
Coach: “What are some things you value outside of work that are getting squeezed out right now?” (eliciting change talk)

These are real examples of principles of motivational interviewing at work: highlighting the tension between values and current reality, and letting the client explore what they might want to change.

Relationships and communication

Example: Conflict with a partner

Client: “My partner says I shut down during arguments. I don’t think I do. I just need space.”
Coach: “From your side, you’re taking space to calm down. From your partner’s side, it looks like shutting down. That mismatch sounds painful for both of you.” (empathy and rolling with resistance)
Coach: “If your communication with your partner looked even 10% better, what might be different?” (eliciting change talk)

Example: Setting boundaries with family

Client: “My mother calls me multiple times a day. I feel guilty if I don’t pick up, but it’s stressing me out.”
Coach: “You care about your mom and don’t want to hurt her, and at the same time, the constant calls are draining you.” (developing discrepancy)
Coach: “What are some ways you’ve set boundaries successfully in other parts of your life?” (supporting self‑efficacy)

Again, these examples of principles of motivational interviewing show how MI respects both sides of the ambivalence—caring for others and caring for oneself.


If you’re looking for the best examples of principles of motivational interviewing today, you won’t just find them in therapy offices. In 2024–2025, MI is increasingly used in:

  • Digital health and wellness apps – Many coaching and habit‑change apps train staff in MI or build MI‑style scripts into chat‑based support.
  • Primary care and chronic disease management – Clinicians are using MI to support behavior changes around diabetes, hypertension, and heart health. Organizations like the CDC and NIH highlight behavior change and patient‑centered communication as key in managing chronic conditions.
    • CDC chronic disease info: https://www.cdc.gov/chronicdisease/index.htm
  • Workplace coaching and leadership development – Managers are learning MI‑style skills to have more effective performance and development conversations.
  • Substance use and mental health services – MI remains a widely researched, evidence‑based approach, especially when combined with other therapies.

Across all these settings, the same core principles show up in slightly different clothing. The examples of principles of motivational interviewing you’ve seen here can be adapted to nearly any context where someone feels stuck, ambivalent, or defensive.


How to create your own examples of principles of motivational interviewing

You don’t have to memorize scripts. Instead, think in terms of moves you can make in conversation. Here’s how to build your own MI‑style responses, inspired by the real examples above.

Step 1: Reflect their ambivalence

Listen for the “on the one hand… on the other hand…” in what they say.

  • “Part of you really wants to ___, and another part is worried about ___.”
  • “You value ___, and at the same time, you’re doing ___, which doesn’t quite line up.”

This single move gives you dozens of examples of principles of motivational interviewing, because it combines empathy and developing discrepancy in one sentence.

Step 2: Ask permission before offering ideas

Instead of jumping into advice:

  • “Would it be okay if I shared something I’ve seen help others in a similar spot?”
  • “Are you open to brainstorming some options together?”

This supports autonomy and avoids power struggles.

Step 3: Ask questions that pull for change talk

Use open questions that invite the person to talk about why and how they might change:

  • “What worries you if things stay the same over the next year?”
  • “If you decided to make even a small change, where might you start?”
  • “On a scale from 0 to 10, how important is this to you right now?” followed by “Why that number and not lower?”

Each answer they give becomes its own example of principles of motivational interviewing, because they are literally building their own motivation in front of you.

Step 4: Reflect strengths and past successes

Look for anything that hints at ability, persistence, or values:

  • “You stuck with that plan for three weeks—that shows a lot of commitment when the conditions are right.”
  • “You’ve made big changes before, like when you ___, so you know you can do hard things.”

These reflections support self‑efficacy without empty cheerleading.


FAQ: examples of principles of motivational interviewing

Q: Can you give a simple example of motivational interviewing with someone who wants to eat healthier?
A: Sure. Suppose someone says, “I want to eat better, but fast food is just easier.” An MI‑style response might be: “You’d like to improve your eating habits, and at the same time fast food feels convenient and familiar. What are some small changes you’d consider making, if any, that wouldn’t feel overwhelming?” This short exchange includes empathy, acknowledges ambivalence, and gently elicits change talk.

Q: What are examples of motivational interviewing questions I can use as a coach?
A: Some practical examples include: “What do you like about how things are now, and what worries you about staying here?”; “If you decided to change, what would be your reasons for doing it?”; and “What would be the first tiny step that feels realistic this week?” These questions invite reflection, not defensiveness.

Q: Are there examples of principles of motivational interviewing that work in quick, 5‑minute conversations?
A: Yes. Even in a short interaction, you can reflect what you hear (“You’re torn between ___ and ___”), ask one powerful question (“What concerns you most about staying on this path?”), and end by affirming strength (“It took courage to even talk about this today”). Those three moves alone give you a compact example of MI in action.

Q: What is an example of rolling with resistance instead of confronting it?
A: If a client says, “I don’t see why I should change,” a confrontational response might be, “You have to change or things will get worse.” An MI‑consistent example would be, “From your perspective, things don’t feel serious enough to justify a change right now.” You’re not agreeing or disagreeing; you’re acknowledging their view, which often lowers defensiveness and opens the door to further exploration.

Q: Where can I learn more and see research‑based examples of motivational interviewing?
A: Helpful sources include NIDA’s overview of MI in addiction treatment (https://nida.nih.gov/publications/motivational-interviewing), SAMHSA’s motivational interviewing tools (https://store.samhsa.gov/product/motivational-interviewing), and peer‑reviewed articles available through the National Library of Medicine (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/). These resources offer research summaries and, in many cases, transcripts and examples of principles of motivational interviewing used in clinical and coaching settings.


If you keep coming back to these real examples of principles of motivational interviewing and practice turning them into your own words, you’ll find your conversations becoming more respectful, more honest, and far more effective at supporting real change.

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