In motivational interviewing, developing discrepancy is a powerful technique that helps clients recognize the gap between their current behaviors and their goals or values. By highlighting this discrepancy, you can empower clients to make positive changes in their lives. Below are three diverse, practical examples to illustrate how you can effectively utilize this technique in your coaching sessions.
Context: A client named Sarah has expressed a desire to be more physically active. However, she often finds herself spending her evenings watching television instead of going for a walk.
In a coaching session, you might say:
“Sarah, you mentioned how much you value your health and want to be more active. Yet, I notice you often choose to unwind with TV instead of going on those evening walks you enjoy. Can you share how that feels for you?”
This statement invites Sarah to reflect on the discrepancy between her desire to be active and her current behavior. It opens up a dialogue about her values and the choices she makes, allowing her to explore the emotional impact of her decisions.
Notes: Encourage Sarah to elaborate on her feelings. You might ask, “What do you think might happen if you prioritized your evening walks instead of TV?”
Context: Mark is considering a career change but has been hesitant due to financial security concerns. He often talks about feeling unfulfilled in his current job.
During a session, you might say:
“Mark, you’ve shared your dreams of pursuing a career that excites you and aligns with your passions. However, I sense that your current job is providing you with a sense of security. How do you feel about the trade-off between security and fulfillment?”
This approach helps Mark recognize the conflict between his desire for a fulfilling career and his fear of losing financial stability. It encourages him to articulate how this discrepancy affects his happiness and motivation.
Notes: You can further explore this by asking, “What steps can you take to bridge that gap between security and pursuing your dreams?”
Context: Lisa wants to improve her relationships with her family but often defaults to spending time alone on her hobbies. She expresses frustration about feeling disconnected from them.
In your conversation, you might say:
“Lisa, I understand you cherish your time alone for your hobbies, which is important for your well-being. However, you’ve also mentioned feeling lonely and wanting more connection with your family. How do you see these two needs aligning?”
This question encourages Lisa to explore the tension between her desire for solitude and her wish for familial connection. By doing so, she can start to consider how she might balance her personal time with nurturing her relationships.
Notes: Suggest exploring specific actions she could take, such as scheduling family activities or setting aside time to connect with loved ones, to see how these might fulfill both needs.