Real-life examples of writing letters to yourself that actually help

Examples of writing letters to yourself for different versions of “you”

Instead of asking, “What should I write?” try asking, “Which version of me needs a letter today?” When you look at examples of writing letters to yourself through that lens, it suddenly feels more natural.

Here are several real examples, written in a conversational style you can adapt.

Example of a letter to your future self (6 months from now)

This is one of the best examples to try if you’re working on a goal or going through a big life transition.

Dear Future Me,

I’m writing this on March 1, 2025. You’re reading it sometime in September. Right now I’m sitting at my kitchen table with coffee that’s already gone cold because I keep overthinking everything.

Here’s what I hope is true for you by now: you’re kinder to yourself when you make mistakes. You’ve stuck with your workout routine at least 3 days a week, not because you “have to,” but because you like how strong and clear-headed it makes you feel.

I know you’ve faced things I can’t see yet. If you’re tired, remember: we’ve done hard things before. Remember how we got through that awful job in 2022? Same grit, new season.

If you’ve drifted from your goals, that’s okay. Just start again today. I’m proud of you for still being here and still trying.

Love,
Me

This example of a future-self letter works because it:

• Names a specific date and time frame
• Mentions real habits and situations
• Balances hope with honesty

You can schedule an email to your future self using tools like FutureMe (a popular site people still use in 2024–2025) or set a calendar reminder to open the letter later.

Example of a letter to your past self (for healing)

Letters to your younger self are powerful for processing old pain and rewriting the story you tell about your past.

Dear 16-year-old me,

I remember how lonely you felt in that school cafeteria, pretending you didn’t care that no one sat with you. I see you holding your tray, scanning the room, acting like you’d rather sit alone. You weren’t broken. You were surviving.

I wish someone had told you that your sensitivity is not a flaw. The thing you hate about yourself now is the same thing that will make you a good friend, partner, and coworker later.

You don’t need to be thinner, louder, or “cooler” to be worthy of love. You already are. The people who matter will eventually find you, and you will find them.

I can’t change what happened, but I can change what you believe about yourself. You were never the problem.

With so much love,
Your older self

Many therapists use similar exercises to help clients process memories and reframe self-blame. The National Institute of Mental Health notes that expressive writing can help with emotional processing and stress reduction, especially when dealing with difficult experiences (NIMH).

Examples of writing letters to yourself when you feel anxious

If your brain loves worst-case scenarios, writing a letter to your anxious self can be grounding. These examples include simple, calming language you can reuse.

Dear Anxious Me,

I can feel your heart racing and your thoughts jumping to every possible disaster. I know you’re trying to protect us by imagining what could go wrong, but right now it’s making it hard to breathe.

Here’s what is actually true in this moment: we are sitting in a safe room. The door is closed. No one is yelling. Nothing bad is happening right now. The fear is real, but the threat is not.

Let’s try one small thing together: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, out for 6. We’ve done this before and it helped. It will help again.

If the worst thing does happen, we will handle it the way we always do—one step at a time, with help if we need it. You are not alone in this.

I’m not mad at you for being scared. I’m here to walk through it with you.

Always,
The steadier part of you

This kind of letter pairs well with evidence-based anxiety tools like breathing exercises and grounding techniques, which organizations such as the Anxiety and Depression Association of America discuss in detail (ADAA).

Example of a letter to yourself after a breakup or loss

Another one of the best examples of writing letters to yourself is a letter written in the middle of heartbreak. You’re not trying to be poetic. You’re trying to be honest.

Dear Heartbroken Me,

I know you keep replaying every conversation, wondering what you could have said or done differently. You’re carrying the entire ending on your shoulders like it was all your fault. It wasn’t.

Here’s what I know from the outside: you tried. You showed up. You were honest, even when it was uncomfortable. That matters more than being perfect.

Right now, the pain feels like it will last forever. It won’t. Remember how you thought you’d never get over that crush in college? You barely think about them now. This will become one of those memories too.

Tonight, your only job is to get through the next hour. Drink some water. Eat something small. Put on a show you’ve already seen, so your brain can rest.

You are still worthy of love, even on this awful day.

With tenderness,
Me

Research on expressive writing suggests that putting emotions into words can support emotional recovery and even physical health over time (APA). A letter like this is a simple, private way to start that process.

Examples of writing letters to yourself to celebrate wins

We’re usually quick to write about problems and slow to write about progress. One powerful example of a letter to yourself is a celebration letter—especially if you tend to downplay your achievements.

Dear Me,

Today you did something you would have avoided a year ago: you spoke up in that meeting and shared your idea. Your hands were shaking, but you did it anyway.

I know your brain is already saying, “It wasn’t a big deal.” But it was. It was a big deal because it chipped away at the old story that you should stay quiet and small.

Let’s write down three things you did well today:
– You prepared your notes ahead of time.
– You took a breath before speaking instead of rushing.
– You didn’t apologize for having an opinion.

These are not accidents. They’re signs of growth. I’m proud of you, and I want you to remember this day the next time you’re tempted to shrink.

With appreciation,
Your biggest fan

This style of letter supports self-compassion, which has been linked to better mental health and resilience in studies from universities like Harvard (Harvard Health).

Example of a decision-making letter to your future self

When you’re stuck on a big decision, writing a letter to the you who has already decided can clarify what matters.

Dear Future Me Who Already Chose,

I’m writing from the middle of this decision about whether to move to a new city. I’m torn between comfort and growth.

If you’re reading this from that new apartment, I want to know: was the fear worth it? Did we find our people? Do we feel more alive, even if it’s still messy?

If you’re reading this from the same old place, I want to know: did staying feel like safety or like regret? Did we find new ways to grow here, or did we stay small?

I don’t expect you to have a perfect answer, but I hope you’ll send some wisdom back in time: What mattered most in the end—security, adventure, relationships, health, something else?

Trying to listen,
Me

After writing this, you can flip roles and answer as your future self. This two-way conversation is one of the best examples of writing letters to yourself when you’re stuck. It pulls your attention away from “What if I fail?” toward “What do I actually value?”

Example of a values-check letter to your everyday self

Not every letter has to be emotional. Some are practical check-ins to keep your life aligned with what matters to you.

Dear Everyday Me,

Let’s be honest: the last few weeks have been a blur of scrolling, snacking, and saying “yes” to things you don’t really care about. You’ve been exhausted, but not satisfied.

Here are the values you keep saying are important: health, creativity, connection. Let’s compare that to how you spent today.

Health: sat for 9 hours, skipped water, doom-scrolled until midnight.

Creativity: thought about writing, but never opened the document.

Connection: answered emails, but didn’t actually talk to anyone you love.

This is not a guilt trip. It’s a gentle recalibration. What’s one tiny action you can take tonight that matches your values? A 5-minute stretch, 10 sentences in your draft, or a 2-minute voice note to a friend all count.

Let’s try again tomorrow—with intention.

Still rooting for you,
Me

Letters like this turn vague discomfort into specific, doable next steps.

How to use these examples of writing letters to yourself in real life

Seeing examples of writing letters to yourself is helpful, but the goal is to actually write your own. Here’s a simple way to use these real examples without getting stuck in perfectionism.

1. Pick your “recipient”

Ask: Which version of me needs attention today?

Options include:

• Future you (6 months, 1 year, or 5 years from now)
• Past you (a specific age or event)
• Anxious you
• Grieving you
• Proud you
• Everyday, “just checking in” you

Once you know who you’re writing to, the tone and content become much clearer.

2. Borrow a structure from the best examples

Look back at the examples above and notice the patterns:

• They start with a clear greeting: Dear Future Me, Dear 16-year-old me, Dear Anxious Me
• They describe the current moment or situation
• They name feelings directly (scared, proud, tired, hopeful)
• They offer comfort, perspective, or tiny next steps

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. If one example of a letter resonates, copy the structure and swap in your own details.

3. Keep it imperfect and honest

Your letter is not an essay. It’s not for social media. It doesn’t need to sound wise.

What matters is that it feels true. That might mean:

• Admitting, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
• Writing in short, choppy sentences.
• Mixing in questions you can’t answer yet.

Honesty beats eloquence every time.

4. Decide what to do with the letter

You can:

• Save it in a journal or notes app
• Seal it in an envelope with a “do not open until…” date
• Schedule it as an email to your future self
• Read it out loud to yourself as a kind of self-coaching session

Some people even keep a folder labeled “Letters to Me” and revisit them every few months to see patterns in their growth.

FAQ about letters to yourself (with real examples)

What are some simple examples of writing letters to yourself for beginners?

If you’re just starting, keep it short. A beginner-friendly example of a letter might be:

Dear Me,

Today was heavier than I wanted it to be. I’m tired and a little disappointed in myself, but I’m also proud that I showed up anyway. Tomorrow I want to try one small thing differently: go to bed 30 minutes earlier and drink a glass of water before I reach for my phone.

That’s enough for now.

– Me

Short, honest, and specific—that’s all you need.

How often should I write letters to myself?

There’s no strict rule. Some people write a letter once a month as a check-in. Others write only at turning points—new jobs, breakups, moves, anniversaries. The Mayo Clinic notes that regular journaling can support stress management and emotional health (Mayo Clinic), but “regular” can mean weekly for one person and quarterly for another.

Experiment: try one letter a week for a month, then adjust based on how it feels.

Is it better to handwrite or type these letters?

Both work. Handwriting can slow you down and make the experience feel more reflective. Typing can feel safer if you want to password-protect your letters or delete them later. Studies on expressive writing show benefits either way; what matters most is the act of putting thoughts into words, not the medium.

Can I use these examples of writing letters to yourself in therapy or coaching?

Yes. Many therapists and coaches encourage clients to write letters to their future or younger selves as part of healing and goal-setting work. You can bring your letter to a session, or write it afterward to process what came up. If you’re working with a professional, ask them which type of letter might support your current goals.

What is one powerful example of a letter to yourself to read when things get really hard?

Here’s a brief, “emergency” example you can adapt:

Dear Me,

If you’re reading this, it means today feels impossible. I know you want to give up. I also know we’ve felt this way before and somehow made it through.

Right now, your only job is to get through the next 10 minutes. Breathe. Drink some water. Look around and name five things you can see.

You are needed. Even if your brain is telling you otherwise, your existence matters more than you can see from inside this moment.

Stay. Ask for help if you can. We’re not finished yet.

With love,
Me

If you ever feel unsafe or think you might hurt yourself, reach out to a trusted person or professional support immediately. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988lifeline.org). A letter is support, not a substitute for real-time help.

When you look at all these real examples of writing letters to yourself, a pattern emerges: you are learning to be on your own side. Every letter—whether it’s to your future self, your past self, or the version of you who’s just trying to make it through today—is a quiet decision to treat yourself with a little more honesty, a little more compassion, and a lot less judgment.