Real-Life Examples of What Fears Are Holding Me Back?

Everyday examples of what fears are holding me back

Before we talk about solutions, it helps to see real examples of what fears are holding me back in daily life. Not dramatic movie-style fears — the quiet, sneaky ones that show up when you:

• Stay in a job you hate because looking for a new one feels “too stressful.”
• Keep rewriting your résumé instead of actually applying.
• Say you’ll “start next month” on a project you’ve been thinking about for years.
• Avoid hard conversations and tell yourself, “It’s not worth the drama.”

On the surface, these look like practical choices. Underneath? They’re often driven by fear.

Let’s walk through some of the best examples of fears that hold people back, and you can notice which ones feel uncomfortably familiar.

Fear of failure: classic example of a dream killer

Fear of failure is one of the clearest examples of what fears are holding me back. It sounds reasonable in your head:

“I don’t want to waste time on something that might not work.”
“I’ll start when I’m more prepared.”

In real life, here’s how this fear often shows up:

• You have a great business idea, but spend months “researching” and never actually launch anything.
• You want to go back to school, but you keep thinking, “What if I can’t keep up?” so you never apply.
• You avoid trying a new hobby because you hate the idea of being bad at it in front of other people.

Psychologists have found that fear of failure can lead to procrastination, self-sabotage, and even physical symptoms like headaches or sleep problems when facing performance situations (American Psychological Association).

Journaling prompt:
Write about one area where you say, “I don’t want to fail.” Then ask: If failure wasn’t an option, what would I try this year? Let yourself list at least five ideas without judging them.

Fear of judgment: examples include social media, work, and family

Another powerful example of what fears are holding me back is the fear of what other people will think.

This fear doesn’t always sound like, “I’m scared of people.” It often sounds like:

“I don’t want to look stupid.”
“People will think I’m full of myself.”
“My family will never understand.”

Some real examples of how fear of judgment can quietly run the show:

• You don’t post your art, writing, or content online because you’re worried about negative comments.
• You stay quiet in meetings even when you have ideas, because you don’t want to say the “wrong” thing.
• You downplay your accomplishments so you don’t seem “arrogant.”
• You choose a “safe” career path because your parents or community expect it, even though it drains you.

Social anxiety and fear of negative evaluation are widely studied; the National Institute of Mental Health notes that about 12% of U.S. adults experience social anxiety at some point in their lives (NIMH). Even if you don’t meet a clinical threshold, a milder version of this fear can still keep you small.

Journaling prompt:
Finish this sentence: If I wasn’t afraid of what people might think, I would… Keep writing for a full page without stopping.

Fear of not being good enough: perfectionism in disguise

When people ask for examples of examples of what fears are holding me back, perfectionism almost always belongs on the list.

This one doesn’t usually say, “I’m scared.” It says:

“It’s not ready yet.”
“I just need to tweak it a little more.”
“Once I take one more course, then I’ll be ready.”

Some best examples of this fear in action:

• You keep editing your portfolio, website, or LinkedIn profile instead of actually sending it to anyone.
• You abandon projects halfway because they don’t match the perfect picture in your head.
• You compare your “day one” to someone else’s “year ten” and decide not to start at all.
• You feel like an imposter at work, even when you’re performing well.

Research has linked perfectionism to increased stress, anxiety, and even burnout (Harvard Health Publishing). In other words, this fear doesn’t just slow you down — it can make you miserable.

Journaling prompt:
Where in your life do you say, “It has to be perfect or it’s not worth doing”? Write about one area and ask: What would “good enough to move forward” look like instead?

Fear of success: a surprising example of what fears are holding me back

Fear of success sounds backwards at first. Who’s afraid of getting what they want? But when people explore examples of what fears are holding me back, this one often hits a nerve.

It whispers things like:

“If I succeed, people will expect more from me.”
“If I make more money, people will ask for things.”
“If I grow, I might outgrow my friends or partner.”

Real-life examples include:

• You sabotage diets, fitness plans, or money goals right when you start making progress.
• You turn down promotions or visibility opportunities because they feel overwhelming.
• You undercharge for your work or refuse to negotiate because more income feels uncomfortable.
• You procrastinate on projects that could actually move your career forward.

Sometimes what we call “self-sabotage” is really fear of change and responsibility disguised as safety.

Journaling prompt:
Imagine your life going really well in the next 3–5 years. What’s the scariest part of that picture? Be honest about what feels threatening, not just exciting.

Fear of conflict and abandonment: staying small to stay safe

Another set of examples of what fears are holding me back comes from relationships.

You might be afraid that if you:

• Set boundaries, people will leave.
• Speak honestly, you’ll start a fight.
• Change your life, your partner or friends won’t come with you.

So you:

• Say “yes” when you mean “no,” then feel resentful later.
• Avoid hard conversations, hoping problems will magically fix themselves.
• Shrink your dreams so no one feels threatened or left behind.

This fear often comes from early experiences where conflict felt unsafe. It can be connected to attachment patterns and past relationships; organizations like the American Psychological Association offer resources on how early experiences shape adult behavior (APA).

Journaling prompt:
Where in your life do you avoid being honest because you’re afraid of someone’s reaction? Write out the conversation you wish you could have, exactly as you’d say it if you felt completely safe.

Fear of uncertainty: staying stuck because the future is blurry

In recent years, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic, fear of uncertainty has become one of the most relatable examples of what fears are holding me back.

You might notice thoughts like:

“The economy is too unstable to make a change.”
“What if I quit and the new job is worse?”
“What if I move and regret it?”

So you:

• Stay in a draining job because at least you know what to expect.
• Stay in a relationship that isn’t working because starting over feels terrifying.
• Avoid moving to a new city, starting a new career, or trying a different lifestyle because you can’t control the outcome.

The CDC has noted increased reports of anxiety and stress-related symptoms in recent years as people navigate ongoing uncertainty about health, work, and finances (CDC). That wider anxiety can easily translate into personal stuckness.

Journaling prompt:
Write about a decision you’ve been avoiding. List the worst-case scenario, best-case scenario, and most realistic scenario. Then ask: If I can handle the realistic scenario, what tiny step could I take this month?

Fear of being seen: visibility, vulnerability, and self-expression

When people ask for examples of examples of what fears are holding me back?, they’re often surprised by how much they’re afraid of simply being visible.

This fear shows up when you:

• Avoid speaking up about your needs in relationships.
• Hide your creative work in private folders or notebooks.
• Dress, talk, or act in ways that feel “acceptable” rather than authentic.
• Avoid therapy, coaching, or support groups because you don’t want to be “seen too deeply.”

Sometimes this fear is rooted in past experiences where being visible led to teasing, bullying, or criticism. Over time, you may have learned that blending in feels safer than standing out.

Journaling prompt:
Where in your life do you feel like you’re performing instead of being yourself? Describe what “fully myself” would look like in one area: clothing, work, friendships, or online.

How to use these examples in your journaling practice

Reading through all these examples of what fears are holding me back is helpful, but the real change happens when you connect them to your own life.

Here’s a simple way to turn this into a regular self-reflection practice, without getting overwhelmed:

Step 1: Pick one fear that feels most true today

Don’t try to fix everything at once. Choose one example of fear that hits closest to home right now — maybe fear of failure at work, or fear of judgment online.

Write at the top of your journal:

“Today I’m exploring my fear of ______.”

Step 2: Describe how it shows up in your behavior

Instead of staying in your head, look at your actions. Ask yourself:

• What do I avoid because of this fear?
• What do I say “yes” to that I don’t really want?
• Where do I procrastinate or overthink?

Use specific, real examples from the past week or month. The more concrete, the better.

Step 3: Ask, “What is this fear trying to protect me from?”

Most fears are trying to keep you safe from something: embarrassment, loss, shame, disappointment. Write freely about what your fear thinks it’s protecting you from. This helps you respond with compassion instead of self-judgment.

Step 4: Brainstorm tiny experiments

Instead of forcing yourself to “be fearless,” try small experiments:

• Share one piece of your work with a trusted friend.
• Speak up once in a meeting.
• Say “no” to one request that drains you.
• Apply for one opportunity, even if you’re not sure you’re ready.

Journal afterward: What actually happened? Was it as scary as my fear predicted?

Over time, these small experiments give you real examples of yourself handling fear — which slowly rewires your expectations.

FAQ: examples of fears that might be holding you back

Q: How do I know which fears are actually holding me back and which are keeping me safe?
A: A helpful test is to ask: Is this fear stopping me from something that deeply matters to me? Healthy caution protects your physical safety and well-being. But when fear stops you from growth, connection, creativity, or values-based goals, it’s likely holding you back more than it’s helping.

Q: Can you give an example of a subtle fear that doesn’t look like fear at first?
A: Perfectionism is a big one. It often looks like “high standards,” but under the surface it’s fear of criticism or not being enough. Another subtle example is staying constantly busy so you never have to sit still and face big questions about your life.

Q: Are these examples of fears the same as an anxiety disorder?
A: Not necessarily. Everyone experiences fear and self-doubt. An anxiety disorder usually involves persistent, intense anxiety that interferes with daily life and may include physical symptoms like panic attacks or insomnia. If your fears feel overwhelming or unmanageable, it’s worth talking to a mental health professional. Organizations like the National Institute of Mental Health offer guidance on when to seek help (NIMH).

Q: Can journaling really help with fear, or do I need something more structured?
A: Journaling isn’t magic, but it’s a powerful tool for awareness. By writing down your thoughts and seeing patterns, you get distance from them instead of letting them quietly run your life. Many therapists and researchers recommend expressive writing as a helpful practice alongside other supports like therapy, coaching, or support groups.

Q: What if I recognize myself in many of these examples of what fears are holding me back?
A: That’s actually good information, not a failure. It means you’re becoming more honest with yourself. Start small: pick one area, one fear, and one tiny action. You don’t need to fix your entire life at once; you just need to prove to yourself, one step at a time, that you can feel afraid and move forward anyway.

When you look at these examples of what fears are holding me back, you’re not trying to label yourself as broken. You’re simply turning on the lights in rooms that have been dark for a long time. With awareness, compassion, and small, consistent experiments, fear stops being the driver — and becomes just one passenger in the car, along for the ride while you choose where you’re headed.