Real-Life Examples of the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: Key Examples That Actually Help

Before we talk theory, let’s get into the best examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck in ordinary life. Not dramatic “quit your job and move to Bali” stories. Just small, quiet acts of rebellion that change your day.

Picture this: it’s 10:30 p.m., you’re exhausted, and your phone lights up with a work email marked “URGENT.” Old you would open it, stew in anxiety, and maybe even fire off a half-awake reply. New you? You’ve decided that your sleep, your partner, and your sanity outrank your boss’s late-night panic. You flip the phone over and answer it in the morning. That’s a subtle, real example of not giving a f*ck about fake urgency.

Or you’re scrolling Instagram and see yet another “What I eat in a day” reel. Instead of spiraling into body comparison, you mute the account, make yourself a normal dinner, and move on. You aren’t ignoring your health; you’re refusing to care about performative wellness standards that make you miserable.

These are examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck: key examples where you’re not becoming careless; you’re becoming selective.

Work & Career: Examples Include Saying No Without Apologizing

Work is where many of us burn through our limited supply of f*cks. Promotions, performance reviews, Slack messages at all hours—it’s an attention vacuum.

One powerful example of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck at work looks like this: your manager asks you to take on a “quick side project” that will obviously eat your entire week. Instead of automatically agreeing, you say:

“I can do that, but then I’ll need to push Project X to next week. Which should be the priority?”

You’re not being difficult. You’re forcing reality into the conversation. You’ve stopped giving a f*ck about looking endlessly available and started caring about doing meaningful work without burning out.

Another real example: you stop chasing the vague idea of “success” defined by other people. Maybe everyone in your industry worships 80-hour weeks and constant travel. You, on the other hand, want time to see your kids, cook dinner, and maybe have a hobby that doesn’t involve a laptop.

So you turn down a role that pays more but demands your entire life. People might think you’re crazy. But you’ve decided that you care more about your actual days than your LinkedIn headline.

This lines up with research on burnout and overwork. The World Health Organization now recognizes burnout as an occupational phenomenon linked to chronic workplace stress that isn’t successfully managed (WHO). Choosing not to give a f*ck about performative overwork isn’t laziness; it’s self-preservation.

Relationships: When Not Giving a F*ck Means Finally Setting Boundaries

Some of the best examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck show up in relationships—family, friends, partners. This is where it gets uncomfortable, because people are used to the version of you who always accommodates.

Think about that one friend who only calls when they need something. You listen for an hour, they never ask how you are, and you hang up feeling drained. Practicing the subtle art here might look like:

• Answering less often and not explaining yourself.
• Saying, “I can’t talk right now, but I hope you find the support you need.”
• Bringing up the imbalance directly: “I notice we only talk when there’s a crisis. I’d like our friendship to feel a bit more mutual.”

You’re not being cold. You’re shifting your f*cks toward relationships that are reciprocal.

Another real example: family pressure. Maybe your parents think a “real job” means law, medicine, or something that sounds good at weddings. You choose a different path—maybe a trade, a creative field, or a slower career track that fits your mental health. You stop rearranging your life for their approval. You still love them, but you’re done giving a f*ck about living out their script.

Interestingly, boundary-setting is strongly tied to better mental health. The American Psychological Association notes that clear boundaries help reduce stress and resentment and support healthier relationships (APA). Mark Manson’s point lines up with that: when you stop giving a f*ck about pleasing everyone, you create room for relationships that actually work.

Social Media & Comparison Culture: Curating What Deserves Your Attention

If there’s any modern arena begging for examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck: key examples, it’s social media.

Real example: you stop arguing with strangers in the comments. You see a take so bad it almost ruins your day. Instead of typing a paragraph, you close the app and go outside for ten minutes. You’ve decided your nervous system is more important than proving a point to @CryptoKing420.

Another example: you quietly unfollow accounts that make you feel like your life is behind schedule—friends who humble-brag nonstop, influencers whose entire personality is “luxury,” or fitness creators who treat rest days like moral failure.

You still care about your goals, your health, your future. But you no longer give a f*ck about keeping up with a feed that’s designed to keep you feeling slightly inadequate. That’s not apathy; that’s strategy.

There’s data backing this up. Studies have linked heavy social media use with increased anxiety and depression, especially when it leads to constant social comparison (NIH). Choosing where to spend your attention online is a textbook example of the subtle art in practice.

Mental Health: Choosing What Pain Is Worth Caring About

One of Manson’s most underrated ideas is that life is always going to involve problems; the trick is to choose better problems. That’s where some of the deepest examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck come from.

Imagine you’re in therapy for anxiety. Old you might think, “I need to stop feeling anxious altogether.” New you, practicing this art, says, “I’m okay with feeling anxious while I build a life I care about. I just don’t want to be anxious about everything.”

So you decide you’re willing to feel discomfort while you:

• Have hard conversations instead of avoiding conflict.
• Try new hobbies where you’re terrible at first.
• Ask for feedback at work instead of hiding.

But you stop giving a f*ck about:

• Whether everyone likes you.
• Whether you look perfectly put-together all the time.
• Whether your path looks “impressive” on paper.

This mindset is surprisingly close to what therapists call values-based living, used in approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Instead of trying to eliminate all negative feelings, you focus on actions that align with your values, even when they’re uncomfortable (Association for Contextual Behavioral Science).

So a key example here: you still feel nervous about public speaking, but you give a presentation anyway because you care about your career growth. You’ve stopped giving a f*ck about looking perfectly confident and started caring about becoming competent.

Money, Status, and Lifestyle: Letting Go of Other People’s Scorecards

Money is one of the sharpest mirrors for what we actually care about. It’s also a goldmine for real examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck.

Take someone who earns a solid income but feels constant pressure to “upgrade” everything: apartment, car, wardrobe, vacations. They’re not doing it because they love those things; they’re doing it to keep up with their peers.

Then one day, they run the numbers and realize they’re stressed, overextended, and no happier. So they:

• Move to a smaller place to save money and time.
• Drive a reliable used car instead of leasing something flashy.
• Stop buying things for the photo and start buying for actual use.

Friends might raise eyebrows. Parents might worry about “appearances.” But this person has decided to stop giving a f*ck about status signaling and start caring about financial freedom, time, and peace of mind.

This isn’t just vibes; it matches what personal finance experts have been saying for years: lifestyle inflation doesn’t reliably increase happiness, while financial stress can harm both mental and physical health (Consumer.gov).

Again, the subtle art here is not hating money or success. It’s refusing to sacrifice your well-being for someone else’s scoreboard.

2024–2025 Reality: Quiet Quitting, Boundaries, and Digital Minimalism

If you want examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck: key examples that feel current, look at the last few years.

Quiet quitting—the trend of doing your actual job but no longer going above and beyond for free—was widely debated. While the term is clumsy, the behavior is a modern example of choosing not to give a f*ck about unpaid emotional and logistical labor that doesn’t align with your values.

Remote and hybrid work created another example: people refusing to commute three hours a day just to prove they’re “dedicated.” Many workers now care more about flexibility and mental health than about being seen at a desk.

Then there’s digital minimalism—people deleting apps, using dumb phones, or setting strict screen-time limits. They’re not rejecting technology; they’re refusing to give unlimited f*cks to notifications, news cycles, and algorithmic rabbit holes.

All of these trends echo Manson’s big point: you don’t have infinite energy. You can’t care deeply about everything, especially in a 24/7, always-on culture. The people who stay sane are the ones who choose their f*cks carefully.

How to Spot Your Own Best Examples in Daily Life

You don’t need a dramatic life overhaul to practice this. You just need to notice where your attention is going and ask, “Is this really worth caring about?”

Some questions that often lead to powerful examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck in your own life:

• Where do I feel resentful? That’s often where you’re giving too many f*cks.
• Who drains me every time I interact with them? That’s a hint about boundaries.
• What am I doing purely for appearances—online or offline?
• Which problems would I actually be proud to struggle with for the next few years?

Your answers might show up as small, specific moves:

You stop defending yourself to someone who never listens. You wear the clothes you actually like instead of what’s trending on TikTok. You choose a boring but stable schedule over a chaotic “hustle” that impresses people you don’t respect.

These are all real examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck: key examples of you quietly taking your life back.

FAQ: Examples of the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Q: What are some simple, everyday examples of the subtle art of not giving a f*ck?
A: Think tiny, not dramatic. Ignoring a late-night work email until morning. Saying no to plans when you’re exhausted instead of inventing a fake excuse. Unfollowing accounts that make you feel inferior. Wearing what’s comfortable instead of what’s “in.” These everyday moves are often the best examples because they add up over time.

Q: Is an example of not giving a f*ck just being rude or selfish?
A: No. The book’s core idea isn’t “stop caring about people”; it’s “stop caring about the wrong things.” Setting a boundary, being honest about your limits, or refusing to perform for approval might look selfish to people who benefit from your overgiving. But it’s actually a step toward healthier, more honest relationships.

Q: Can you give examples of using this mindset at work without getting fired?
A: Absolutely. You can respect your job while refusing to worship it. Examples include clarifying priorities when you’re overloaded instead of silently drowning, taking your full lunch break, using your vacation days, and pushing back—politely—on unrealistic timelines. You’re still doing your job; you’re just not sacrificing your health to look like a hero.

Q: How do I know what’s worth giving a fck about?
A: Look at your values and your long-term regrets. You’ll probably care a lot, years from now, about your health, your close relationships, your integrity, and the work you’re proud of. You’ll care less about random internet opinions, fleeting trends, and status symbols. The more your daily fcks line up with your deeper values, the more this “subtle art” starts to feel like common sense.

Q: Is this mindset compatible with caring about social issues or helping others?
A: Very much so. In fact, it can make your efforts more focused. When you stop burning energy on image management, people-pleasing, and trivial drama, you have more bandwidth to care deeply about things that matter—community, justice, the environment, people you love. The point isn’t to care less; it’s to care better.