Real-life examples of examples of emotional development in school-age children

Everyday examples of emotional development in school-age children

Let’s start where you live: the kitchen table, the minivan, the school pickup line. The best examples of emotional development in school-age children usually show up in ordinary, messy moments.

Picture this: Your 6-year-old loses a board game and says, “I’m mad. I want to stomp, but I’m going to take a break.” That tiny speech is a textbook example of emotional growth. They’re naming a feeling, recognizing an impulse, and choosing a different action.

Another night, your 9-year-old hears that a classmate’s pet died and quietly draws them a card. That’s empathy in action—one of the clearest examples of emotional development in school-age children.

These real examples might look small, but they’re building the foundation for teen and adult mental health. Research from organizations like the CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics points out that learning to manage emotions in childhood is strongly linked to better relationships, school success, and overall well-being later on.

Concrete example of early school-age emotional development (ages 5–7)

In the early elementary years, emotions are still big and dramatic, but you’ll start to see more control and self-awareness. Here are some of the best examples of emotional development in school-age children at this stage, woven into everyday life.

A first grader spills juice at dinner. Last year, they might have cried and hidden under the table. This year, they gasp, look upset, and then say, “I’m sorry! I’ll get a towel.” That shift from meltdown to problem-solving is a powerful example of growth in emotional regulation.

On the playground, a 6-year-old gets tagged out during a game. They protest, “That’s not fair!” but instead of shoving or storming off, they cross their arms, pout for a minute, then rejoin the game. The feeling is still intense, but the recovery is faster. Emotional development at this age often means shorter tantrums and more attempts at self-control.

You might also notice:

• A 7-year-old saying, “I’m nervous about the spelling test,” instead of just complaining of a stomachache. They’re starting to connect physical sensations and feelings.
• A child apologizing after hurting a sibling and adding, “I didn’t mean to. I was just frustrated.” That’s emotional insight beginning to bloom.

These are all real examples of examples of emotional development in school-age children learning to:

• Name basic feelings (mad, sad, scared, happy, nervous)
• Ask for comfort or help
• Use simple coping skills, like deep breaths or hugging a favorite stuffed animal

If you’re wondering what’s typical, the CDC’s child development pages outline similar milestones for this age group, especially around sharing, taking turns, and showing concern for others (CDC, Child Development).

Middle childhood: examples include empathy, self-talk, and problem-solving (ages 8–10)

By third to fifth grade, kids are much more aware of other people’s feelings and of social rules. This is where you’ll see some of the clearest examples of emotional development in school-age children.

Imagine an 8-year-old who used to shove when they were mad. Now, when a friend cuts in line, they say, “Hey, that hurt my feelings. Please don’t do that again.” That’s assertive communication instead of aggressive behavior.

Or a 9-year-old who used to panic over homework now mutters to themselves, “Okay, this is hard, but I can do one problem at a time,” and then gets started. That little voice is positive self-talk, a powerful example of internal emotional regulation.

Other real examples at this stage include:

• A child noticing a classmate sitting alone at lunch and inviting them to join. This shows empathy and social awareness.
• A 10-year-old who gets a bad grade, feels disappointed, and asks the teacher, “Can you help me understand what I did wrong so I can fix it?” That’s emotional resilience and problem-solving working together.
• A child telling you, “I’m mad at you, but I still love you,” after a disagreement. They’re learning that mixed feelings can exist at the same time.

These examples include several layers of emotional development: understanding complex feelings, considering others’ perspectives, and using more mature coping strategies. Studies on social-emotional learning (SEL) programs, like those summarized by the Harvard Graduate School of Education and CASEL, show that kids who practice these skills tend to have better academic outcomes and fewer behavior problems over time (Harvard EASEL Lab).

Later school-age years: best examples of emotional maturity (ages 11–12)

By the upper elementary or early middle school years, emotions get more complicated—but so do kids’ skills. Hormones are starting to wake up, friendships matter more, and social media may enter the picture, especially in 2024–2025.

Here are some of the best examples of emotional development in school-age children at this stage:

A 12-year-old has a disagreement in a group chat. Instead of firing off an angry message, they put the phone down, talk to you, and decide to wait until they’re calmer to respond. That pause is advanced self-regulation in a digital world.

An 11-year-old feels left out when two close friends hang out without them. They feel jealous and sad, but instead of lashing out, they say, “I felt hurt when you didn’t invite me. Can we plan something together next weekend?” That’s emotional honesty and relationship repair.

You might also see:

• A child recognizing patterns: “I always get really anxious before presentations. Maybe I should practice more and talk to my teacher.”
• A preteen who used to explode now saying, “I’m too mad to talk right now. I need a minute,” and actually coming back later to finish the conversation.
• A kid expressing concern about world events, like climate change or school safety, and wanting to take action (joining a club, writing to a representative). That shows empathy on a bigger, more global scale.

These older kids are moving toward the teen years, where mental health risks can increase. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) notes that anxiety and mood disorders often start in adolescence, so building emotional skills in these later school-age years really matters (NIMH, Child and Adolescent Mental Health).

Real examples of emotional development at home, school, and online

To really understand examples of examples of emotional development in school-age children, it helps to look at three main arenas: home, school, and the digital world. Kids practice different emotional skills in each place, and together they form a fuller picture.

At home

At home, you might see:

• A child asking for a hug after a hard day instead of acting out. They’re learning to seek connection instead of chaos.
• Siblings arguing, then negotiating who gets which toy and for how long, without an adult stepping in. That’s conflict resolution and compromise.
• A child admitting, “I lied because I was scared you’d be mad,” and then working with you on how to handle it differently next time. That’s emotional honesty and trust-building.

These home-based examples include some of the deepest emotional work kids do: learning that they can mess up, repair, and still be loved.

At school

In the classroom and on the playground, examples of emotional development in school-age children might look like:

• A student raising their hand to say they’re confused, instead of silently shutting down. That shows vulnerability and help-seeking.
• A child comforting a classmate who is crying after being teased, or telling a teacher when they see bullying. That’s empathy and moral courage.
• A kid accepting feedback on an assignment without crumpling it up or arguing. They may still feel defensive, but they’re learning to tolerate discomfort.

Many schools now use social-emotional learning curricula, which intentionally teach skills like recognizing emotions, self-control, and responsible decision-making. Research summarized by organizations like CASEL and university labs shows SEL can improve both behavior and academic performance.

Online and in 2024–2025 digital life

Today’s kids are often navigating group chats, video games, and social platforms well before high school. That means some of the clearest modern examples of emotional development in school-age children show up on screens:

• A child leaving a toxic group chat instead of staying and joining in the drama.
• A kid recognizing that scrolling through “perfect” photos makes them feel bad, and choosing to take a break from social media.
• A preteen reporting cyberbullying to a trusted adult, even if they’re worried about being called a “snitch.”

These are updated, real-world examples that reflect 2024–2025 trends: more online socializing, more exposure to world events, and more opportunities for both connection and stress.

How parents can support these examples of emotional development

You don’t have to be a therapist to nurture emotional growth. In fact, some of the most powerful support comes from simple, consistent responses.

Here are practical ways to encourage more of these positive examples of emotional development in school-age children:

Model what you want to see. When you say, “I’m feeling stressed, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths before we talk,” your child sees emotional regulation in action.

Name feelings out loud. Try phrases like, “You look disappointed that the playdate was canceled,” or “It sounds like you’re worried about the test.” Over time, kids borrow this language.

Praise the process, not just the outcome. Instead of only celebrating the A on the test, notice, “You were really frustrated, but you kept trying—that’s impressive.” That reinforces resilience.

Make room for repair. When there’s yelling or slamming doors, come back later with, “We both got really upset. Let’s talk about what happened and what we can do differently next time.” Kids learn that relationships can recover.

Stay curious instead of only correcting. If your child snaps at a sibling, you can still set a boundary—“We don’t speak like that”—but also ask, “What’s going on underneath? Are you tired, overwhelmed, or hurt?” That invites emotional awareness.

The CDC and American Academy of Pediatrics both emphasize the role of responsive, warm parenting in healthy emotional development. Consistency, listening, and safe boundaries go a long way.

When examples of emotional development might signal a need for support

Not every behavior is a red flag—kids are allowed to be messy humans—but some patterns are worth paying attention to. Instead of one bad day, look for ongoing trends.

You might want to talk with your pediatrician, school counselor, or a child therapist if you notice:

• Intense, frequent meltdowns that don’t seem to be improving with age
• Very limited emotional expression (rarely showing joy, sadness, or anger)
• Ongoing difficulty making or keeping friends
• Persistent worries, fears, or sadness that interfere with sleep, school, or daily life
• Self-harm talk, strong statements like “I wish I wasn’t here,” or risky behavior

The NIMH and CDC both offer guidance on when to seek help and how to find mental health resources for children and tweens. If something in your gut feels off, it’s always okay to ask a professional for another set of eyes.

FAQ: examples of emotional development in school-age children

Q: What are some clear examples of emotional development in a 7-year-old?
A: A 7-year-old might say, “I’m embarrassed I got the answer wrong,” instead of just acting silly to cover it up. They may apologize after hurting someone’s feelings, try to solve small conflicts without an adult, and show concern if a classmate is sad. These are classic examples of emotional development in school-age children in the early grades.

Q: Can you give an example of emotional development that shows resilience?
A: A strong example of resilience is a child who doesn’t make the soccer team, cries and feels disappointed, but then says, “I’m going to practice more and try again next year,” or decides to join a different activity. They still feel the sting, but they’re able to move forward.

Q: Are big feelings a bad sign, or are they normal examples of growing up?
A: Big feelings are very normal. Emotional development doesn’t mean kids stop having strong emotions; it means they slowly gain more tools to handle them. Tantrums at 6 that last 5 minutes instead of 45, or a 10-year-old who can cool off and come back to talk things through—those are healthy examples of progress.

Q: How do I know if my child is behind in emotional development?
A: Look at patterns over time and compare them loosely with age expectations from trusted sources like the CDC. If your child rarely shows empathy, struggles constantly with friendships, or has intense emotional reactions that don’t ease up as they get older, it’s worth checking in with a pediatrician or school counselor. They can help sort out what’s within the wide range of normal and what might need extra support.

Q: What are some examples of ways I can build my child’s emotional skills at home?
A: You can read stories and pause to ask, “How do you think this character feels?” You can coach them through conflicts instead of fixing everything: “What could you say to your friend?” You can also create simple routines—like a nightly check-in where everyone shares a high and a low from their day—to practice naming feelings.

Emotional growth isn’t a straight line. Kids will have days where they look incredibly mature and days where they fall apart over the wrong color cup. But if you watch closely, you’ll start to see more and more real-life examples of emotional development in school-age children: the pause before reacting, the quiet apology, the thoughtful question, the brave “I’m scared, but I’ll try.”

Those are the moments that matter—and you’re already helping them happen, simply by being there, listening, and staying in the conversation.