Real-life examples of examples of positive discipline techniques that actually work

Everyday examples of positive discipline techniques in action

Let’s skip the theory and go straight into real-life scenes you probably recognize. These are the best examples of positive discipline techniques because they’re simple, repeatable, and realistic for tired parents.

Picture the morning rush. Your 4-year-old refuses to get dressed. Old pattern: threats, bargaining, maybe some yelling. A more positive discipline approach might sound like this:

“You can choose: dinosaur shirt or rocket shirt. When you’re dressed, we’ll have time to read one page of your favorite book before we leave.”

You’re not giving in, and you’re not shaming. You’re using choice, connection, and a clear limit. Real examples like this help you see how positive discipline can work with your child instead of against them.

Below are several examples of examples of positive discipline techniques, broken into everyday situations—mealtimes, bedtime, tantrums, homework, and sibling fights—so you can grab what fits your life right now.

Examples of positive discipline techniques for everyday power struggles

1. Using choices instead of power battles

One powerful example of positive discipline is offering limited choices. Kids crave control; when they feel powerless, they push back. Choices give them a sense of control within your boundaries.

Scenario: Your 3-year-old refuses to put on pajamas.

Instead of: “Put on your pajamas right now or no TV ever again!”

Try: “You can choose: pajamas first, then one short story, or story now and pajamas right after. You decide.”

You’re still the parent setting the order of events. But your child feels involved, which reduces the fight. Other real examples include:

• At breakfast: “Do you want your cereal in the blue bowl or the green bowl?”
• At cleanup time: “Do you want to pick up the blocks or the cars? I’ll do the other.”

These examples of examples of positive discipline techniques work best when the choices are both acceptable to you and you can calmly follow through.

2. Setting clear, calm limits (and sticking to them)

Another example of positive discipline is calm, consistent limits. Kids feel safer when they know where the line is—and that you’ll hold it without yelling.

Scenario: Your 6-year-old keeps jumping on the couch.

Instead of: “If you don’t stop, I’m throwing away all your toys!”

Try: “The couch is for sitting. If you want to jump, you can jump on the floor or on the mat. If you keep jumping on the couch, we’ll take a break from the living room for a while.”

Then follow through—kindly but firmly. You’re teaching what to do, not just what not to do. Other examples include:

• “We use gentle hands with the dog. If you hit, your body takes a break next to me.”
• “Homework gets done before screens. If it’s not done, screens wait until tomorrow.”

The CDC notes that consistent routines and expectations support better behavior and emotional regulation in kids (CDC Parenting Tips). These examples include both structure and warmth, which is the sweet spot of positive discipline.

3. Natural and logical consequences instead of punishment

One of the best examples of positive discipline techniques is using natural and logical consequences rather than harsh punishment.

• Natural consequence: What happens on its own, without you arranging it.
• Logical consequence: A related, respectful outcome that you set.

Scenario (natural consequence): Your 9-year-old forgets their jacket on a cool (but not dangerous) day.

Instead of: “You’re so irresponsible! No video games for a week!”

Try: “You forgot your jacket. You might feel cold today. Let’s think of a plan tonight so it’s easier to remember tomorrow.”

The mild discomfort of being chilly helps the lesson stick, without shame.

Scenario (logical consequence): Your 8-year-old throws a toy at the wall.

Instead of: “You never appreciate anything! Go to your room!”

Try: “Toys are for playing, not throwing. Since the toy wasn’t used safely, it’s taking a break for the rest of today. Tomorrow you can try again.”

Real examples like these show how consequences can teach responsibility without humiliation or fear.

Organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend avoiding physical punishment and instead using consistent, nonviolent discipline strategies (HealthyChildren.org). These examples of examples of positive discipline techniques align with that guidance.

Examples include connection-based discipline for emotional meltdowns

4. Emotion coaching during tantrums

One powerful example of positive discipline is emotion coaching—helping your child name and manage big feelings.

Scenario: Your 2-year-old is screaming on the floor because you cut their toast wrong.

Instead of: “Stop crying! It’s just toast!”

Try:

“You really wanted it whole. You’re so mad I cut it. It’s okay to be mad. I won’t give you a new piece, but I’ll sit with you while you’re upset.”

You’re holding the limit (no new toast) but staying emotionally present. Over time, these real examples of calm responses teach kids that feelings are manageable, not scary.

Other examples include:

• “You’re disappointed the playdate is over. You wish it could last all day.”
• “You’re frustrated the block tower fell. Want a hug or do you want to try again?”

Research summarized by Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child shows that children learn self-regulation through repeated experiences with calm, responsive adults (Harvard Center on the Developing Child). Your steady presence during meltdowns is a powerful teaching tool.

5. Practicing “do-overs” instead of shaming

Another example of examples of positive discipline techniques is the do-over. Instead of focusing only on what went wrong, you give your child a chance to practice the right behavior.

Scenario: Your 5-year-old grabs a toy from a friend.

Instead of: “You’re rude! Say sorry right now!”

Try: “That was a grab. Let’s try that again in a kinder way. How can you ask for a turn?”

Then you practice together: “Can I have a turn when you’re done?”

Other real examples include:

• When your child yells: “Try that again with a calmer voice.”
• When they slam a door: “Let’s practice closing the door gently. Show me how.”

Do-overs send the message: You’re learning. I believe you can do better. That’s discipline and encouragement at the same time.

Best examples of positive discipline techniques for routines and homework

6. Using visual routines instead of constant nagging

Routines are one of the best examples of positive discipline techniques that lower stress for everyone. Instead of repeating yourself 47 times, you let the routine chart be the “bad guy.”

Scenario: The morning routine is chaos every single day.

Instead of: “Brush your teeth! Put on your shoes! Get your backpack! Why do I have to say this every morning?”

Try creating a simple picture chart:

• Wake up
• Get dressed
• Eat breakfast
• Brush teeth
• Shoes and backpack

Then you say: “Check the chart. What’s next?”

You’re shifting from policing to coaching. Other examples include bedtime charts, after-school routines, and screen-time routines.

The CDC highlights that predictable routines help reduce behavior problems and support emotional security (CDC Positive Parenting Tips). These examples of examples of positive discipline techniques show how structure can actually create more calm.

7. Problem-solving together about homework and screens

As kids get older, positive discipline leans more on collaborative problem-solving.

Scenario: Your 10-year-old “forgets” homework until 9 p.m. and then melts down.

Instead of: “You’re lazy! No more YouTube for a month!”

Try a calm conversation when everyone is regulated:

“Homework has been really stressful lately. I don’t like all the yelling, and I know you don’t either. Let’s figure out a plan together. What time of day do you think homework feels easiest for you?”

Then create a shared plan:

• Snack and 20 minutes of downtime after school
• Homework time at the kitchen table
• Screens only after homework is done

You can write it down together and post it. Other real examples include:

• Making a “screen schedule” together for weekends.
• Agreeing on a quiet study space and a short break every 20–30 minutes.

These examples include your child’s voice, which makes them more likely to cooperate.

Real examples of positive discipline for sibling fights and aggression

8. Coaching instead of refereeing

Sibling fights are a goldmine for examples of examples of positive discipline techniques, because you can either get sucked into every argument—or teach skills.

Scenario: Your 7- and 9-year-old are yelling about who had the toy first.

Instead of: “That’s it! I’m taking it away! You both lose!”

Try:

“I hear a problem with sharing. I’m going to hold the toy while we figure this out. Each of you gets a turn to tell me what happened. Then we’ll come up with a solution together.”

You might guide them toward:

• Setting a timer for turns
• Finding a similar toy
• Agreeing to switch activities

Other examples include:

• “I won’t let you hit. If you’re too upset to be near each other, we’ll take a break in different rooms and try again later.”
• “Use your ‘I’ statements: ‘I feel ___ when you ___. I need ___.’”

You’re modeling conflict resolution, not just ending the noise.

9. Teaching repair after hurtful behavior

Another powerful example of positive discipline is teaching repair—how to make things right after harm.

Scenario: Your 6-year-old calls their sibling “stupid.”

Instead of: “That’s it, no TV for a week. You’re so mean.”

Try:

“Those words hurt. In our family, we speak respectfully. How can you repair this?”

You might offer ideas:

• Saying a sincere apology
• Drawing a picture for their sibling
• Helping with a small favor

The goal isn’t to force a fake “sorry,” but to help your child learn empathy and responsibility. These real examples of repair teach that messing up doesn’t make them a bad person—but they are responsible for their impact.

How positive discipline helps you cope with parenting stress

Positive discipline isn’t about being a perfect, endlessly patient parent. It’s about having a set of strategies—real, practical examples of examples of positive discipline techniques—that you can fall back on when you’re tired, overwhelmed, or triggered.

Here’s how these examples can actually lower your stress:

• You yell less, because you have scripts and plans ready.
• You argue less, because limits and routines are clearer.
• You feel less guilty, because you’re disciplining without shaming or hurting.

Sites like HealthyChildren.org emphasize that positive, consistent discipline supports better long-term mental health and behavior in kids (HealthyChildren.org Discipline Overview). That means fewer daily battles—and more energy left for the parts of parenting you actually enjoy.

And yes, you will still lose your temper sometimes. You’re human. One of the best examples of positive discipline is actually what you do after you mess up:

“I yelled earlier. That wasn’t okay. I’m working on staying calmer. I’m sorry. Next time I’m going to take a break before I talk.”

You’re modeling growth, repair, and self-control—the very skills you want your child to learn.

FAQ: examples of positive discipline techniques parents ask about

Q: What are some quick examples of positive discipline techniques I can use today?
Some fast, realistic examples include offering two choices instead of commands, using a visual routine chart for mornings or bedtime, practicing “do-overs” when your child speaks rudely, using natural consequences (like feeling chilly after forgetting a jacket), and emotion coaching during tantrums (“You’re really mad. I’m here. You’re safe.”).

Q: Can you give an example of positive discipline with a teenager?
Yes. Say your teen misses curfew by an hour. Instead of a long lecture, you might say: “You came home an hour late. I was worried. Our agreement was 10 p.m. For the next two weekends, curfew is 9 p.m. If that goes well, we can move it back to 10. Let’s talk about how you can keep me updated next time.” That’s a clear, logical consequence with respect and a path to earn back trust.

Q: Are these examples of positive discipline techniques realistic for neurodivergent kids (ADHD, autism, etc.)?
Often yes, but they may need more structure, visual supports, shorter language, and more repetition. For example, a child with ADHD might need a visual checklist for every step of the morning, plus a timer and gentle reminders. The core ideas—connection, clear limits, and logical consequences—still apply, but the pacing and tools are adjusted.

Q: Do positive discipline examples mean there are never any consequences?
No. Real examples of positive discipline almost always include consequences—but they are related, respectful, and aimed at teaching, not hurting. Instead of “You hit your brother, so no dessert,” you might say, “You hit your brother. We don’t use our hands to hurt. You need to take a break next to me, and later you’ll think about how to repair.”

Q: What if I was raised with yelling or spanking and I’m struggling to use these examples?
You’re not alone. Many parents are trying to parent differently than they were parented. Start with one or two examples of examples of positive discipline techniques that feel doable—like offering two choices or using a simple routine chart. Practice those until they feel more natural. And when you slip back into old patterns, repair with your child and try again. That is positive discipline in action.

If you take nothing else from this, remember: you don’t have to transform your entire parenting style overnight. Pick one or two real examples from this list, try them this week, and notice what shifts. Small, consistent changes add up—to calmer kids, a calmer you, and a home where discipline actually teaches instead of just punishes.