Real-world examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews (without blowing up the relationship)

Strong examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews (starter phrases you can actually use)

Let’s skip theory and go straight to language you can borrow. Managers often ask for the best examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews because attitude is so slippery—you feel it before you can describe it.

Here are sample phrases that name the behavior clearly without attacking the person:

• “In team meetings, your comments are often framed in a negative or dismissive way, which discourages others from speaking up.”
• “When plans change, you tend to respond with visible frustration (sighing, eye rolling, abrupt tone), which affects team morale.”
• “You often challenge decisions in a way that feels combative rather than solution-focused, which slows collaboration.”
• “You’re quick to point out what won’t work, but slower to offer alternatives. This creates a perception of resistance instead of partnership.”
• “Several teammates have shared that they feel dismissed when you interrupt or talk over them in meetings.”
• “When receiving feedback, you often become defensive and shift blame, which makes it harder to work through issues together.”

These are examples of language that focuses on observable behavior and impact, not personality (“you’re negative,” “you’re difficult”). That distinction matters, especially in 2024–2025, when more companies are training managers to focus on behavior-based feedback and psychological safety.

For a deeper primer on giving behavior-focused feedback, you can look at resources like Harvard Business Review’s guides on feedback or leadership training materials from MIT OpenCourseWare, which both emphasize describing actions and impact instead of labeling character.

Full review examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews (by situation)

To make this practical, let’s walk through real examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews across common scenarios. Think of these as “copy–edit–paste” templates.

Example 1: Chronic negativity in team meetings

Scenario: The employee is smart and productive but often shoots down ideas and focuses on what won’t work.

Review language:
“Your subject-matter expertise is a clear asset to the team, and your ability to spot risks early has saved us time and rework. At the same time, your input in meetings is often framed in a strongly negative way. Comments like ‘that will never work’ or ‘we’ve tried this and it always fails’ shut down discussion and discourage others from contributing.

Going forward, I need you to continue raising risks while also helping us move forward. For example, instead of ‘this won’t work,’ try ‘here are two risks I see and one way we might address them.’ This shift in tone and language will help others experience you as a partner, not a gatekeeper.”

This is one of the best examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews because it does three things at once: acknowledges strengths, names the attitude issue, and gives a clear path forward.

Example 2: Passive-aggressive resistance to direction

Scenario: The employee says “okay” in the meeting, then drags their feet or undermines the plan afterward.

Review language:
“You consistently agree to priorities and timelines in our check-ins, but your follow-through sometimes sends a different message. For example, after aligning on the Q3 launch plan, you shared with peers that the plan was unrealistic and that you didn’t support it. This kind of passive resistance creates confusion and erodes trust.

If you disagree with a direction, I want you to bring that directly to me or raise it in the meeting so we can address it together. I’m open to pushback, but I need that feedback to be direct and timely, not shared only in side conversations.”

This example of addressing attitude problems in reviews highlights the behavior (saying one thing, doing another) and connects it directly to trust.

Example 3: Defensiveness when receiving feedback

Scenario: Every time you give feedback, the person argues, blames others, or shuts down.

Review language:
“You’ve made progress on your core responsibilities, and I appreciate the effort you’ve put into learning the new tools. One ongoing concern is how you respond to feedback. When we discuss areas for improvement, you often immediately defend your actions or point to others’ mistakes. For instance, in our April and June one-on-ones, you responded to feedback on missed deadlines by focusing on other teams’ delays instead of your own planning.

Feedback is a normal part of growth here. I’m asking you to pause before responding, listen fully, and then work with me on a plan. A more open response will help us solve problems faster and also build confidence in your leadership potential.”

Managers in many organizations, especially post-2020, are being trained to normalize feedback as a two-way conversation. The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) has repeatedly emphasized that clear expectations and coaching-style feedback reduce legal risk and improve engagement.

Example 4: Gossip and undermining colleagues

Scenario: The employee is kind to people’s faces but complains or gossips behind their backs.

Review language:
“You’re well-liked and people enjoy working with you. However, I’ve received multiple reports that you sometimes speak negatively about colleagues in private conversations—for example, describing teammates as ‘lazy’ or ‘clueless’ after meetings. This kind of talk damages trust and contributes to a less respectful environment.

If you have concerns about someone’s performance or behavior, I expect you to bring those to me or address them directly with the person in a constructive way. Continuing to participate in or start negative side conversations is not acceptable and will be part of how your performance is evaluated.”

This is one of those real examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews that many managers avoid, but naming gossip specifically can stop a lot of quiet toxicity.

Example 5: Disrespectful tone with peers or customers

Scenario: The person is technically strong but talks down to others.

Review language:
“Your technical skills and speed are a major asset to the team. However, your tone with colleagues and customers is sometimes perceived as dismissive or condescending. For example, in the May 7th client call, you said, ‘That’s a basic question; we covered that already,’ which made the client feel embarrassed and shut down further questions.

I need you to pair your expertise with patience and respect. That means avoiding phrases that belittle others, and instead using language that invites questions, such as ‘Let’s walk through that again’ or ‘That’s a common question; here’s how to think about it.’ How you communicate is as important as what you know.”

This example of addressing attitude problems in reviews ties the behavior to customer experience, which is often easier for employees to understand and accept.

Example 6: Low engagement and visible disengagement

Scenario: The employee is doing the bare minimum, cameras off, no participation, visibly checked out.

Review language:
“Over the last two quarters, your participation and visible engagement have declined. In team meetings, your camera is usually off, you rarely contribute, and you often appear to be multitasking. When asked for input, your responses are minimal and sometimes delayed.

I recognize that remote and hybrid work can be challenging, and I’m open to discussing what support you need. At the same time, I expect you to be actively present in meetings, contribute to discussions, and respond promptly. Your engagement affects how the team experiences you and influences their own energy.”

As remote and hybrid work have become standard, many companies—including those highlighted in research from MIT Sloan Management Review—have started to explicitly evaluate visible engagement and collaboration behaviors, not just output.

Example 7: Entitlement and “that’s not my job” attitude

Scenario: Employee refuses tasks outside their narrow definition of their role.

Review language:
“You consistently complete the tasks that are clearly defined in your role, which is appreciated. However, when asked to support team needs that fall slightly outside your usual scope, your response is often ‘that’s not my job.’ For example, you declined to help with the product launch checklist because it ‘wasn’t in your job description,’ even though the entire team was pitching in.

Our culture values collaboration and stepping up when the team needs support. I need you to show more flexibility and a willingness to help, especially during peak periods. Going forward, I’ll be looking for examples where you proactively offer support rather than limiting yourself to a narrow set of tasks.”

This is another example of addressing attitude problems in reviews that connects behavior to stated team values, which is increasingly common as organizations publish clear values and leadership principles.

Example 8: Overly aggressive communication style

Scenario: Employee is blunt to the point of being intimidating.

Review language:
“You’re direct and action-oriented, which can be very helpful in fast-moving situations. However, your communication style is sometimes experienced as aggressive or intimidating. In several cross-functional meetings this quarter, you raised your voice, interrupted others, and used phrases like ‘this is a stupid approach,’ which shut down discussion.

Directness is welcome; disrespect is not. I’d like you to focus on expressing strong opinions with calm tone and respectful language. For instance, instead of ‘this is stupid,’ try ‘I have concerns about this approach because…’ I’m happy to support you with communication coaching or role-playing if that would be helpful.”

Again, this is one of the best examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews because it preserves the person’s strength (directness) while drawing a firm line around respect.

How to frame these examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews during the conversation

Writing the review is only half the battle. Saying it out loud, to someone’s face (or on Zoom), is where most managers freeze.

Here’s a simple flow you can use when you bring any of these examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews into a live conversation:

Start with shared goals.
“I want you to be successful here and to be seen as the strong contributor you are.”

Describe specific behavior and impact.
“When you [behavior], it leads to [impact on people, results, or trust].”

Pause and invite their perspective.
“I want to pause here—how does that land with you?”

Clarify expectations.
“Going forward, what I need to see is [new behavior], consistently.”

Offer support, not a rescue.
“I’m here to support you with feedback and resources, but the change has to come from you.”

This approach lines up with evidence-based communication strategies often taught in leadership and conflict resolution programs at universities like Harvard and other business schools: focus on behavior, impact, and future actions rather than character attacks.

FAQ: Common questions about examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews

Q: Can you give an example of addressing attitude problems in reviews without sounding harsh?
Yes. Try something like: “You bring strong skills to the team, and I want others to fully benefit from that. Recently, your comments in meetings have sometimes come across as dismissive, such as saying ‘we’ve tried this and it never works.’ This makes others hesitant to share ideas. I’d like you to continue raising concerns, but in a way that invites discussion—for example, ‘we’ve tried something similar before; here’s what blocked us and how we might avoid that this time.’” That’s one of the real examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews that balances honesty with respect.

Q: How many examples of attitude issues should I include in a review?
Aim for a small number of clear, representative examples—often two to four. Too many can feel like a “gotcha” list. Choose situations that show a pattern over time, not just one bad day. The goal is to demonstrate that this isn’t a one-off event but a recurring behavior that needs to change.

Q: What are examples of attitude problems that are serious enough for a performance improvement plan?
Examples include repeated disrespect toward colleagues or customers, ongoing refusal to follow reasonable instructions, persistent gossip that harms reputations, or chronic undermining of leadership decisions. When these behaviors continue after clear feedback, they often move from “coaching conversation” territory into formal performance management.

Q: Is it okay to mention mental health or stress when discussing attitude?
You should never diagnose or assume. You can say, “I’ve noticed changes in your behavior and engagement, and I’m concerned,” and then point the person toward resources like your Employee Assistance Program. For general guidance on mental health at work, sites like NIH and Mayo Clinic offer helpful information. But keep the review focused on observable behavior and performance, not speculation about causes.

Q: How do I document these examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews to protect the company and the employee?
Write in factual, specific terms: dates, situations, what was said or done, and the impact. Avoid labels like “bad attitude” and instead describe behaviors (“raised voice,” “interrupted colleagues,” “spoke negatively about peers in front of clients”). HR organizations such as SHRM consistently recommend behavior-based documentation to reduce bias and support fair decisions.

If you take nothing else from this guide, let it be this: the strongest examples of addressing attitude problems in reviews don’t rely on clever wording. They rely on being specific, fair, and forward-looking. You’re not writing a verdict; you’re opening a door to change. Use these examples as a starting point, keep your humanity in the room, and you’ll handle even the toughest attitude conversations with more confidence.